One of my closest friend’s six-year-old daughter recently asked her a question, which most Indian parents dread – ‘how was I born?’ “I didn’t know how to answer this basic question. I mean how does one explain biology to a child, so I stuck to the same logic -‘Mama and Papa prayed to God for a child, and one day I woke up and found a small baby lying between us.” My friend’s daughter wasn’t quite convinced, and the question is still being repeated.
Clearly embarrassed, my friend has been wondering how soon will it be before she will begins with the whole birds and bees spiel. She is dreading the day when she will have to spell out the theory behind the most embarrassing three-letter word in India – sex.
Like many other Indians, I have often pondered over this discomfort that most Indian parents find them in; why has it not be included in the school curriculum yet. Sex education should be a mandatory topic/discussion among parents and children, teachers and students, and counselors to educate about sexual intercourse, menstruation and birth control. It’s time to enter thin ice territory and lift this taboo.
Just what do Indian parents fear so much, when it comes to matters of sex? Why are schools so restricted in including sex education? What is this moral high-handedness we are so uptight about?
Grossly overpopulated at 1.2 billion people, the rate of teenage pregnancy in our country is much higher than the global average of 49 births per 1000 girls in the age group of 15-19, since we have 76 child births for every 1000 teenage girls. As social media becomes more accessible and casual, no holds barred sex is no longer considered out of bounds, virginity is becoming an obsolete concept, and with men and women being more open to the idea of sexual intimacy, beyond the institution of marriage; for how long are we going to live in denial?
Considering the growing rate of sexual violence against children is a clear indication that it’s imperative to talk about touch. Silence is not a helpful weapon.
In 1998, an Indian NGO, Recovery and Healing from Incest (RAHI) conducted India’s first study on child sexual abuse. The study conducted a survey of 600 English-speaking middle and upper-class women, 76 per cent of whom confessed that they had been abused in childhood or adolescence, 40 per cent by at least one family member, most commonly an uncle or cousin.
In 2006, Tulir-CPHCSA’s study conducted among 2,211 school children in Chennai indicated a child sexual abuse prevalence rate of 42 per cent. Children of all socio-economic groups were found to be equally vulnerable, as 48 per cent of boys reported having been abused, the prevalence rate among girls was 39 per cent. 15 per cent of both, boys and girls were severely abused. How safe are our children, including boys in parks, school buses, crèches, with drivers and house helps? And even amongst our own relatives?
In 2007, the Indian government backed a survey of 1,25,000 children in 13 states. Of the children interviewed, more than half (53%) revealed that they had been subjected to one or more forms of sexual abuse. Over 20 per cent of those interviewed claimed that they were subjected to severe forms of abuse. Of those who said they were sexually abused, 57 per cent were boys.
A comprehensive and complete sex education drive on a regular basis is yet to be introduced in Indian schools. However, according to the World Health Organisation (WHO), sex education should be imparted to children who are 12 years and above. It has also been observed that children in the age bracket of 12-19 years account for about 34 per cent of the HIV-infected people, internationally.
According to statistics released by the government, 31 per cent of the AIDS cases which are reported fall in the age group of 15-29 years. This clearly show how risk prone young Indians are. In 2014, Honorable Justice Mohit S Shah, Chief Justice of Bombay High Court said, “More than 53 per cent children in India have faced sexual abuse. In Maharashtra, out of the 198 cases filed, only 38 cases have received conviction till now. This needs to change immediately; the pace of convictions under the POCSO Act needs to increase. We also need better implementation of the Act at the grassroot level and ensure that a level of sensitivity is adopted while dealing with the victims, as the law and its procedures end up intimidating the child. The procedures and environment need to be made more child-friendly if we want to increase conviction in child abuse cases. In the end, the burden to prove innocence must lie on the offender and not the child.”
The threat of AIDS, teen abortions, the shunning and silencing of sexual crimes and the sloppy judicial system apart, what we need is to accept that our children will be naturally curious about sex and treat it naturally, and not as a sexually transmitted disease. The conversations must begin in intimate spaces, like our homes. The answers more direct, and not discouraging.
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