As we approach the end of the year, the festive season and the day of resolutions, many of us habitually start to take stock of the one that is almost over, with ambitious plans for the new one. Why not use the next two weeks to pave the way forward?
Take a few minutes to list the things that you would like to achieve in the New Year and the habits you are ready to let go of in order to make way for the new opportunity. If you look at your list, many of you would have the word “Stop” and “Start” in them. Consider each stop as a start to something that you truly desire. If you listed, “Lose weight”, “Create balance in your life” “Stop smoking”, “Start a new project”, “Embark on a dream”, then this is awesome, you already have a pretty clear idea.
Re-connect with the reasons you want to stop or start these things and truly dedicate your self to them. If your reasons are not strong enough, there is no way you will stick to your plans and lofty goals or resolutions. For example, if it is a better work life balance you want in 2014, list what it is this balance looks like and take stock of all the areas on your life that you feel you have neglected this year.
Work Life Balance has been the “need for the hour” for many HR departments and their employees. But what is this balance of work and life? When we start out on a new job or project, we are excited and motivated by the need to gain respect, prove ourselves and to grow our own skills and talents to the expectations that we often impose on ourselves, we often put all our energy into making this happen and this often comes at the price of losing sight on our own personal goals and values. So what is this ideal that we so covet?
What would a balanced life look like to you? For the many working mothers and wives out there, it would be to work and yet be a “Good mother, wife or daughter in law”. And for the rest of us, it is to have a lifestyle where we are able to nurture ourselves, our bodies and our relationships outside of work, whilst we still chase our career dreams.
Life Coach tip from me: Realise that when you over-perform you are creating the space for everyone around you to under-perform and you are not allowing him or her to grow. This is true in relationships, whether parental or otherwise. A mother’s role in all mammals is to teach, train and prepare our offspring to fend for themselves; protect themselves from danger and hunt for their food. Even a bird knows to use her beak to slowly nudge her young to fly. Every day that you feel guilty about leaving your child to go to work or pursue your dreams is actually handicapping that very child to be more dependent on you. So, go on, shed the guilt once and for all and do what you so desire to do, take the first step at least in that direction and trust that this is good parenting as you will be forcing your kids to grow, which is the summation of your role as a good parent.
This is the same for your employees or team members; you need to let go and focus on what you really want to do and explore instead of micro-managing their every move, in the fear that they are not trustworthy or capable of doing a good job.
Yes, I always say, we women are Goddesses and have extra arms to manage a lot of different responsibilities and play many roles, but the only way to do so is to trust the people around you, delegate and let go.
If you want to 2014 to be the year that you become super healthy and strong, then you need to dedicate time and energy to this goal. Losing weight, replacing unhealthy habits and creating a lifestyle where you have the time to nurture your mind and soul are all a part of being healthy.
Life Coach tip from me: Think of what you want to stop and start in the New Year and start it now, consider this the warm-up so that there is less pressure put on January 2. Why wait til the New Year? If you truly want to be slimmer, then get started on your diet and exercise routine now. If you want to quit a bad habit, then do it now. Give yourself enough space to fall a step back so you can take two steps forward.
Declare it now to your friends, on your social network or even to your team, so that their eyes are on you and ask for their support. The only reason we don’t declare these decisions is because we are afraid we may fail, but not declaring it is setting yourself up to fail. You want your safety net and your back up plan in case you don’t find the strength to follow through, and guess what, this is what will keep you where you are.
Do the research and homework you need to do to have the life you want and start making the arrangements and necessary changes now. Like I said, if it is a health goal you have, then start now; commit to exercising six times a week from today. Hide or throw out all your unhealthy snacks if you live on your own, or create a healthy food box for yourself in your home to scavenge through when you are feeling peckish. Sign up now for the classes and practices you want to fill your life with to nurture your body and your soul and don’t wait till January. Start now.
Rate each area of your life on a scale of 1 to 10 today; health, image, space at home, office space, friendships, relationships, social life, hobbies and creativity, spirituality, finances… and then look at the distance between where you really are and where you want to be next year. Consider what is missing, what would it take, what are the prices that you need to pay in order to rank at 10 in each of these areas and take these steps now. Not next week, not next year, but now!
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