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Things I Hope My Soap Opera Loving Mom Doesn't Learn from TV

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From religious viewers of Ramanand Sagar’s Mahabharat on Doordarshan to the generation of Nukkad and Shanti we have now become a saas-bahu saga addicted audience. The stereotypical dramatic stories have become our source of entertainment; that explains why a Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi ran for a decade whereas a Sarabhai Vs Sarabhai got killed in one.

 

So while we still obsess over Komolika’s tikas, Tulsi’s vachans and Parvati’s pativratapan, Daya’s darwaza todna has also become mundane. All in all the clichéd, overly dramatic family dramas have little or no inspiration. So now we have Sandhya, an IPS officer making innumerable sacrifices for her illiterate husband, Anandi still fighting out irrelevant social issues in a small village in Rajasthan and Dr. Ishita Raman Kumar Bhalla who idiotically falls prey to every possible scheme.

 

I often imagine how these shows could play with my mom’s sentiments. Especially when I’ve seen her sobbing for a dead Mihir or hoping that Anurag and Prerna finally came together after a million marriages.

 

So on the occasion of New Year while I sincerely hope that my mom never, ever gets influenced from any of these things on Indian Television, I’ve put together a list of what your life would be like with a TV soap opera’s Maa.

 

Imagine your mom dressed up at 10 in the night in a heavy sari and tons of jewellery. Urrggg!

 

 

The multiple layers of make up on the face of television heroines might be necessary for the camera but if done at home by our moms, it is likely to make us forget what they really look like.

 

 

The one thing television moms are famous for doing is the planning, plotting and scheming. Imagine your mom going in planning mode where she makes exaggerated expressions while in her head she is thinking of all her wicked plans of adding extra salt in the food and blaming your chaachi. (Weird, right?)

 

 

Television is famous for its mother-in-laws who love to be evil. Troubling and taunting their dearest D-I-Ls is their life’s motto but imagine it happening in reality. Your sweet dadi replaced by an evil plotter, erm not nice!

 

 

For on screen moms, love marriage only means that the girl is a spoilt brat who is going to steal her son from her. God help you there.

 

 

Contrary to the family planning philosophy, television families strive on the extended brood who is present on all occasions. Their motto being, “Asli maza toh sabke saath hai”. This makes for great plots and sky rocketing TRPS. But the fact remains that large families living together means zero savings and multiple cat-fights.

 

 

On-screen moms consider it their mission to compare their kids to everyone else’s. So forget next-door aunty’s son who is in Canada and scored 99 per cent, you’ll now be pitted against Rashi from Parvarish, Roshesh from Sarabhai vs Sarabhai or even Ruhi from Yeh Hai Mohabbatein.

 

 

Illegitimate children and extra marital affairs are all the rage on-screen. Be prepared to come home to loud screams of Yeh sunne se pahle mere kaan phat kyun nahi gaye, if your mom turns as dramatic as Indian TV.

 

 

Nahhhiiiii!!! Stop over reacting mothers. A pimple on the face, a burnt vegetable curry or your girl having male friends is not worthy of such high voltage expressions.

 

 

There’s more to life than falling in love and getting married. And marriage doesn’t have to lead to kids. And if there are no kids, it doesn’t means it’s the girls fault. You’ll spend half of your life explaining this to your Indian Television inspired mom.

 

 

 

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