What is the first thought that comes to your mind when you read or hear the word ‘victim’? A helpless, struggling and fragile woman who is afraid of her own shadow? But the truth is that victims are not chosen by appearance or strata. Be it women who are caged by domesticity or those breaking the glass ceiling, violence affects everyone. It is perhaps the way they deal with it—the non conventional, non apologetic approach—that often misleads society into believing that successful women could never be ‘victims’.
Celebrity hairstylist, Sapna Bhavnani’s recent confession on the Facebook page, Humans of Bombay, perhaps best puts across this point.
In a brave and heartfelt account of her past, the hairstylist talks about how she survived gang-rape and other kinds of domestic violence. “On one Christmas eve in Chicago, I walked out of a bar alone, late at night, in a short dress and red lipstick. I was 24 and had been drinking, when from a dumpster a group of guys walked up to me and put a gun to my head asking me to give them blow jobs, eventually leading to gang-rape. I remember walking home, showering and pushing this incident to the back of my mind for years and never letting it break my spirit. I still wear short dresses and the brightest red on my lips.
In years to come, I got married to my high school sweetheart, faced domestic violence and walked out of the marriage wondering how this could happen to ME, a feminist?” she shares.
While it took her twenty years to actually voice the torment, it didn’t leave her shattered. That she carries herself with supreme confidence is a quality worthy of applause, especially since we believe that only women from certain sections can be victimised.
She refused to let the incident define her life. We hope that her confession will help women across the world to gain strength and confidence.
Read her full account here.
“When I was 14, I used to talk to boys; drive motorcycles, smoke cigarettes and people in Bandra would often call me a whore because of those things. I never understood the term back then, but sure if doing all those things made me a whore, I’d take it gladly. After my father’s death, I moved to Chicago where there were so many like me and it gave me the freedom to get inked, experiment with my hair and just be myself.
One Christmas eve in Chicago, I walked out of a bar alone late at night in a short dress and red lipstick. I was 24 and had been drinking, when from a dumpster a group of guys walked up to me and put a gun to my head asking me to give them blow jobs, eventually leading to gang-rape. I remember walking home, showering and pushing this incident to the back of my mind for years and never letting it break my spirit. I still wear short dresses and the brightest red on my lips.
In years to come, I got married to my high school sweetheart, faced domestic violence and walked out of the marriage wondering how this could happen to ME, a feminist? It’s because sometimes there are things that are beyond your control. We live in a world where everyone stresses the importance of voicing yourself or walking out of tough situations, but I just want to say this- no one wants to be beaten up, get raped or sell their bodies. It took me 20 years to voice my incident, but for me a woman keeping it all within her because she has no other choice isn’t a sign of weakness – it’s a mark of strength and something we need to start respecting.”
Image courtesy: BCCL
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