Acid attack on key witness in the rape case filed against self-proclaimed godman Asaram Bapu. Bus gang-rape, again. Kerala police blames Bob Marley for drug use among teens… If you’ve got bhaang left over from your Holi festivities, down some to help you digest all of this. What else can I say? It happens only in India.
Bus gang-rape déjà vu: It’s been over a year since the gang-rape of a 23-year-old medical student in a New Delhi bus sent shock waves across the country and the world. And despite the recent verdict that the four guilty men will be awarded the death penalty despite their appeal against the same, the depraved continue to be inspired by the ghastly case. Just two days ago, a 36-year-old woman was gang-raped at gunpoint in Haryana by a bus driver and his “associate”. Imitation as the best form of flattery?
Acid is the answer: What happens when a 72-year-old so-called messenger of god is accused of being a groping pervert by a minor girl? Thankfully, in spite of throngs of blind followers, Asaram Bapu was arrested in September 2013 and is currently behind bars in Jodhpur. However, hell hath no fury like a godman jailed. His flunkies are here to take care of the witnesses. With nothing less than a 1980s-Bollywod-inspired acid attack on the key witness, making it the third attack on witnesses in rape cases filed against Asaram and his son Narayan Sai. It’s all about loving your family. K Jo would’ve been proud.
Bob’s the man: A while ago, the Khap Panchayat geniuses revealed the cause of escalating rape cases — a dangerous dish called chow mein. And now, the Kerala police have gone one step ahead and cracked the reason for drug use among teenagers in the state — Bob Marley. Apparently, the cops confiscated T-shirts, key chains, bracelets and bumper stickers that sported the marijuana leaf and Bob Marley pictures. Now, the question is: Who’s going to shoot the sheriff?
Successful Indians are real Indians: Only, in several cases, they aren’t really Indians by nationality (any longer) but mere origin. The latest being Hyderabad-born Satya Nadella, named Microsoft’s spanking new CEO a few weeks ago. Excuse enough for us to do the smug we-Indians-are-such-achievers dance. We’ve done the jig for so many never-have-been-Indians and Indians-no-more. But Nobel prize winner Venkatraman Ramakrishnan was one of the few to hit several ethnic-pride-stricken nationalists below the belt, talking about “people from India bothering him, clogging up his e-mail box” and their “strange, sudden urge to reach out to him” after he was awarded.
Down with pollution: In a bid to combat rising air pollution levels, Paris decided to ban half its drivers from the roads depending on whether their number plates ended with an odd or even digit. Free public transport till pollution levels come down is another initiative, a rather expensive one at 4 millions Euros a day. These steps were taken when the city’s pollution levels reached 180 microgrammes of particulates per cubic metre, more than double the safe limit of 80. As for Mumbai’s statistic, it lies between 172 and 235. And what do we do about it? Break our backs driving back and forth for hours on end on potholes with roads between them because we’re too classy, rich, old or simply lack the courage to brave our public transport. Declare carpooling is for misers, that we’ve earned our luxury ride and won’t let strangers in our dream machines. And of course, do our best to go above 235 on special occasions such as Diwali and Holi. Jai Mumbai. Jai Maharashtra. Jai Hind.
Image courtesy: BCCL
More On >> Current Affairs
