YOLO is used as an excuse for instant gratification and risky behaviour. “You Only Live Once” or #YOLO has been overused since 2011 when it was rapped by Drake in the song “The Motto”. It implies that one should enjoy life, even if that entails taking risks. But instead of using it as an expression to do whatever you want, why not use it as an expression to live life right, because you only get one chance at life, as Kaley Ali so sensibly said.
When the much-missed Robin Williams used Carpe Diem, which is where YOLO kind of originated, his angle was not to encourage daredevil behaviour but rather, to encourage the young men in “Dead Poet’s Society” to make their lives extraordinary.
Yes, I am an advocate of taking risks and of acting in spite of our fears. However, what if the chances of ending up miserable far overweigh the pleasure you think you will experience from the choices you make?
There is a fine line between being gutsy by disrespecting the fragility of life and your relationships, and having the courage to step outside your comfort zone. Consequential thinking is a sign of being an adult. The mastery of thinking things through carefully, instead of allowing your impulses to take control of your life is where you will find more lasting happiness. The key word is thinking. We often don’t think, and just do what we feel like doing, hiding behind excuses like #YOLO or “I felt like it”.
Here are 3 ways to keep your YOLO attitude on the positive side of the fence.
1. Honest Habit Audit
Our habitual actions determine the results we have in our lives and are probably the largest contributor to how happy you will be in a decade. Simply put, if you are exercising adequately, committedly and safely daily, you can almost predict that you will be in good shape in 10 years; same if you adopt a healthy daily eating plan.
Meditating daily has also got proven positive effects on your well-being, happiness quotient and health. When your habits or BASE is towards healthy living, then you can choose to occasionally indulge guiltlessly, knowing that the damages would be negligible in lieu of your daily discipline.
Be honest when you look at your daily and weekly habits. Look at the ones that you know are coming form an “I’m invincible” attitude and rethink them. Look at the ones that you are denying, or exaggerating. For example, statements like, “I hardly drink”, “I eat healthy” or “I only smoke socially,” need to be looked at alone and with honesty. How much and how often do you really drink and smoke? What are you really eating daily?
When you look at your daily and weekly habits check that you are stretching yourself and being unreasonable when it comes to the achievement of your goals. Having the courage to be unreasonable and step up against what feels comfortable or is expected as “normal” is using the YOLO attitude in a positive way.
Committing to spending time every day going in, listening and meditating will help to hone your ability to see clearly and choose wisely. Your senses will be more equipped to draw the distinction between listening to your gut and intuition rather than being influenced by society. You will know when to be courageous and act in spite of your fears and when you are just being reckless for aimless thrills. Meditating builds your ability to “distinguish”.
2. Make Pre-Decisions
Take this time to list some of the absolute unacceptable situations you fear. For example;
You fear being hospitalized with respiratory issues or injuries.
You fear incarceration or being arrested.
You fear being broke or in deep debt.
You fear being alone.
Make your pre-decisions to not indulge in activities that could lead to these probable outcomes. Learning to distinguish between possible and probable is also a facet of consequential thinking.
If you drink and drive every weekend, having an accident or getting arrested are no longer possibilities that are affected by your luck, but rather simply a probability that’s just waiting for its turn. Examples of pre-decisions would be to say, “I will NEVER drive when I am going out and might drink-no exceptions!”
Decide now to commit to not doing anything that could take you to places you don’t want to go. If you are rude to your family and friends every day, it is a matter of time when they will stand up for themselves and walk out on you, if not physically then they will at least distance themselves emotionally from you for sure. If being alone is not something you want, then re-think your way of being. Decide in advance to take time to listen and to hold back from saying hurtful things.
Doing what we believe to be right and not worrying about the consequences is also another dilemma that can be very hard to deal with. I often ask my clients, would you rather be happy or right? For example, if you find yourself getting extremely vocal about social justice, take the time to think of conducive and safe ways to help a situation rather than being righteous and risk getting into a brawl or worse.
3. 10-Year Vision Check
In an unscientific study, it was found that the biggest regret of the dying was “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”
Every few months sit with yourself and consider what you’d like your life to look like in 10 years. Make a bucket list and add the experiences you want to include and make it a point to write goals that will help you have these happy times. In modern life, we work towards our wealth goals but then we can’t enjoy it because of the lack of time or health. Having holistic life goals and a vision of the general direction you want to move in will guide you in making your choices and help you steer away from brash #YOLO activities that could potentially ruin it all for you in an instant.
“Live in such a way that even if given another opportunity to live your life all over again, you would still choose to live it exactly the same way that you are living your life now.”
– William B. Girao, Enjoy Life
Image courtesy: ©Thinkstock photos/ Getty images
More On >> Work & Life
