Advocacy for basic women’s rights remains an urgent issue for feminism in 2015. While we fight to break the glass ceiling and step away from the desi bahu image, issues like a woman’s right to walk on the road after 8 PM and her right to refrain from marital sex are ones that are yet to see the light of the day. iDiva’s celebrity guest editor for Women’s Month, Kalki Koechlin thinks feminism in India needs a facelift pronto. Here are her expectations.
We have two new governments this year and I sure do hope that feminism gets a facelift in 2015. Talking about feminism, for the beginner and the uninformed men, the term simply means fighting for equal rights. No, we don’t hate men nor do we ask for any ‘special’ status. We want to walk on the roads without being ogled at, the same as you. We want people at our work place to respect us, the same as you. We want to have the right to decide when we want a child, the same as you. And we as married women have the right to say no to sex, same as you!
So rest assured, we aren’t after a special quota here. All we want are BASIC human rights!
For me having a female-friendly society starts at the grassroots level. The videos that we make, the protests that we conduct and the talks we give on feminism are important, yes, but we need to get to the root of the problem.
We firstly need to address incest. This crime is BIG in India. Ask a group of five women about it and three of them will have stories to tell. Most of them wouldn’t have seen any action being taken against these fathers, brothers, uncles and teachers either. Being a part of the joint-family system in India, our biggest concern is ‘Don’t let anyone else know.’ We let this affect our lifestyles so much that we end up hiding crimes because the ‘shame’ of having everyone know is too hard to deal with. Picture this: Your daughter complains about incest, you ask her to look the other way. When she grows up, she might be subjected to crime herself – to marital rape, to abuse, to violence. She’ll look the other way too and so will her daughter. Because you taught her to do so.
If you ask me, I would say that dealing with incest should be first on the Government’s agenda. The government needs to think about this and ensure that those little girls have someone to turn to when they are touched inappropriately or made to do horrendous things. Sex education in schools is a must for children. Let the boys and girls know how to behave with each other, what acceptable touch is and how to react when they feel violated.
Also in some cases, even if parents want to take a stand for their children, they don’t know who to turn to. We need social support from the Government, to get an idea on how to deal with this crime. At times, it’s easier to turn to a stranger for help, than a person who is too involved in your family circle. Having helplines and government backed NGOs to deal with incest, gives us a guided layout of how to deal with this horrendous reality.
Apart from this, the government needs to put laws in place urgently. I am not saying that our existing laws are wrong and the new government needs to rectify them, no. Our laws are very much in place; what we need is implementation. Despite a number of cases being reported, there are many rapists walking free. Blame the government for playing the rapist’s biggest ally or blame the police force for letting corruption interfere with their duty; either way, we need stricter implementation policies that ensure that the rapist is punished because that punishment will work as a deterrent for all the other ‘would-be’ rapists in our country.
We also need to upgrade our laws and our traditional thinking. Because at the end of the day, if we want the society to be sensitised towards women, and if we want feminism to become a reality, then we need people to know, understand and sympathise with the issues that women face every day in India. When a married woman goes to the police to complain of marital rape, chances are she’ll be turned away. While the law recognises marital rape, our mentality doesn’t. So the cop is most likely to ask you to ‘solve your arguments at home’ instead of filing that FIR.
I sincerely hope that 2015 for women isn’t another long year for her, fighting for basic rights. I hope that this year she will be treated as an individual. We must work together to reduce these gender roles, right from the time we are dealing with one-and two-year-old sons and daughters, and let respect come across as naturally as any other emotion.
What better time to start than right now! 🙂
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