You chipped a nail, broke up with your boyfriend, got fired or just had a random emotional outburst of sorts, a bad day is a bad day and it gives you the perfect excuse to get over it, in whatever way that pleases you, even if you binge eat a tub full of Baskin Robbins ice-cream or spend the weekend watching re-runs of Sex And The City.
These remedies we use to get over troubled times may not be the healthiest ones but at least they serve the purpose right? Well, firstly they may not really fix a situation. It only helps you get through the day while you shelf the rest of the emotions far inside the depths of your mind. And secondly, the problem still exists! So then, how do we really cope with these common unfortunate situations? Read on to know all about it.
You just had a break up
What you do: Break ups are always tough; they’re always dealt with bouts of rage, resentment and sadness. What follows next is emotional eating, crying and looking at old pictures of the good times you spent together.
What you should do: Clinical psychologist Samindra Sawant says “the first thing you need to do is acknowledge the truth. There’s going to be sorrow that follows and you need to recognise it. Every relationship has positives and negatives, think about both and then concentrate on the negatives because these are the reasons why it didn’t work out. There is a lot to learn out of it. This will convince you that it was really not worth hanging on to it.
You didn’t get a job or you got fired from one
What you do: Throw yourself down in the dumps? Rejection can cause loss of self-confidence and maybe even make you question your own worth.
What you should do: “Is there a way to find out why you didn’t make it, find out and use that as a stepping stone to learn better and overcome that hindrance”, says Samindra. If there’s nothing you can do about it then may be the job wasn’t for you in the first place. Work on your CV and apply to places where you are not only interested in but also have the required skills to offer.
Someone just called you fat
What you do: This one line can get the fittest women to question herself. You stress about it. Get super conscious about the food you eat and get stricter with yourself, thus jeopardising your own sanity.
What you should do: Weigh yourself, no we’re not joking, if you want to find the truth, dig in deep the hard way instead of blindly believing what’s said to you. If you notice no suspicious change or fit in the ideal body weight category, you clearly have no reason to worry about. Samindra also adds “asking a close friend or a family member about the same could be beneficial as they would tell you the absolute truth. Then if you realise that you really have put on weight, you can calmly plan your weight loss strategy”.
You assume too much-assume you’re going to get fired, or assume your boyfriend’s going to dump you
What you do: You makeup stories in your mind about the worst possible situation then you get stressed and anxious about it.
What you should do: Samindra says, “in a situation like that learn to challenge anxiety. Ask yourself what makes you assume a particular happening and prepare yourself for a solution in your own mind instead of fretting.” She adds, if you can, then stop a negative thought before allowing it to grow wings. Confront the fear.”
PMS
What you do: You have an instant urge to eat whatever you want and yell at whoever comes your way.
What you should do: PMS is natural and there’s no escaping the emotional rollercoaster. But instead of walking around like a ticking bomb you can inform people like your husband or friend about your ‘current condition’. Samindra says, “this will make the people around you more tolerant and they will try and avoid setting you off”. Apart from that, ensure you get enough sleep and eat health so that you nourish your body well to cope up with these tough days”.
People you love are fighting
What you do: It’s easy to get affected or even dragged into an argument between your parents or close friends. Even though it may be none of your business, it may cause emotional distraught making you intervene and further mess things up.
What you should do: First, you need to deal with the whole situation in a non-partial manner. “unless you are emotionally detached, do not get involved”, suggests Samindra. She recommends, “wait for things to lighten up then approach each of them with the other one’s perspective and try to make them understand the situation, all the while making sure you aren’t partial”.
You did something wrong and now you can’t get over the guilt
What you do: Unlike other problems, guilt cannot be sidelined or ignored; it always stays with you till you do something about it. As much as you’d allow yourself to wallow in self pity, it’s time to take the grown up way out of it.
What you should do: According to Samindra, “if there is a way to undo the matter, do it. It will erase the problem altogether. However if there isn’t, the only way out is acknowledging it and then working on yourself to get over it.” It may take long but forgiving yourself is a virtue prescribed by many religious and spiritual teachings too.
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