As women, we are raised to be meek, submissive and apologetic for practically everything. Sometimes it seems like society expects us to apologise for even bodily functions, whether it is using the loo or keeping a messy room. We don’t have to apologise. It’s time we said, ‘Sorry, But We Are Not Sorry’. Here’s a list of 10 things that women should never apologise for.
1. Periods: There may be a red wedding going on in your underpants, but that’s no reason to stay confined in a corner out of everybody’s way. It’s a natural process, a part of our reproductive powers without which men would have long since perished. So hold your head high and go about as you please. The world is your oyster. And we are leaders, not bleeders.
2. Sexual preferences: If gay men have it bad, lesbian women have it much worse in India. They are practically an invisible community. But it’s time to put an end to societal restrictions. Regardless of whether you love men, women, both or trees, you don’t need to justify who or what you love.
3. Bra cup sizes: You may be endowed with two large melons or your jugs may be as flat as the Gangetic Plain, that’s nobody’s business. And you shouldn’t feel sorry or any less womanly for that. Of course, most of you have heard this pep talk in different versions overtime, but it’s time to tell people to buzz off. You are not to apologise for who you are. You may chose to wear a dress without a padded bra or even wear a bodycon dress that hugs the jugs, but that’s your choice.
4. Independence: We Indian women have been taught all our lives to rely on the men around us. And so, if we ever do something on our own, it is considered out of bounds. So what if you went to the RTO office all by yourself to get your license or made your investments without consulting anybody? Being able to take care of yourself is a wonderful thing. Anyone who makes you feel less for your strong sense of independence can go suck it.
5. Painting our faces: Some of us like to paint our faces, some of us don’t. There’s nothing more to it really. If you feel more confident wearing make up, then, by all means, wear make up! It’s fun and makes us feel like our best-dressed selves – what’s so bad about that? You can paint yourself until you are barely recognisable – just so long as you don’t apologise for it.
6. Messy house: Women are expected to be born housekeepers. But what’s the big deal if we aren’t, as long as we are not endangering public health? Most men keep their residences unkempt and messy and society just smiles indulgently upon them, saying boys will be boys. But why is it that a woman has to apologise for the mess in the house if somebody suddenly drops in? She has a far more rigourous schedule than a guy and if she doesn’t get time to clean, so what? Never again, no more apologies.
7. How many people we’ve had sex with: If we are vestal virgins, our parents approve, but our peers turn their noses up against us. If we have had sex with even one person, our friends approve, but our parents are scandalised beyond limits. It’s time to put this whole “kill-count” debate to bed. How many people a girl sleeps with is only one, very small statistic in her history.
8. Not liking children: All children are beautiful, but they are not all likeable. If that kid pokes his finger in my face one more time, he is getting spanked. No regrets there.
9. Making more money: So what if we earn more than our spouses? It’s time we stop feeling guilty for our success and start enjoying it. Be proud of your worth and what you’ve earned and the world at large will soon follow suit, if only grudgingly.
10. Putting work first: If work is the most fulfilling aspect of your life, there is no reason you shouldn’t immerse yourself in it. There’s a big difference between letting your job run your life and working hard at something you’re dedicated to.
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