The feminist movement has been stronger before than now, and we are seeing the repercussions of this transitional period. Yes, we can see the change, but a lot of hatred is also pouring in from people resistant to this change. You know it too, because as a fellow feminist, you have heard other feminists being labelled as bitches, bitter women and a whole bunch of other misogynistic epithets that we shall not go into. After so much negativity, we all need a little bit of boost, to tide over the low phase. So here’s a little bit of feminist cheer coming your way – a reminder of all things positive.
You deserve respect: Sure, the world hates feminists. But they don’t get the right to treat you badly just because they don’t like what you stand for. And shouldn’t let that kind of behaviour slide by.
You’re doing the right thing: It’s hard to believe in this, when you are being bombarded with hate mail and abuse online, just because you tweeted something about equal rights. But even at your lowest of lows, you know you are right, so hold on to that. You are fighting for justice, for what is yours, by right.
You’re brave: If you haven’t already figured this out by now, you should do so. Because it’s hard to hold on to your stand in the face of constant resistance, hate and suppression. That shows you are brave, even if you sometimes quake in fear at the end of an unpleasant episode.
You can only do so much: You cannot be at the forefront of every movement, online and offline and if they don’t become a success, you are not to blame either. So don’t feel guilty if you have to give up a protest to be at a friend’s birthday or go visit your grandmother or simply just go for a movie. You’re a human being after all, like everybody else. So what’s the point if you don’t learn to relax and enjoy like one?
Yes, it’s hard work: It’s okay to wish sometimes that this work was easier. Because it’s true, kick starting a feminist movement is tough and nobody tells you about the staggering amount of logistics that you have to handle, just in order to get everybody to be at a place at a particular time. Getting your actions to align with your values takes a great deal of work.
It’s okay to want and depend on a life partner: Who says you have to be alone and single if you are a feminist? Feminism is about equal rights and opportunities. You can be starry-eyed head-over-heels in love and live the dream marriage with an understanding and supportive partner. That doesn’t make you less of a feminist.
It’s okay to have sexist thoughts: It’s hard to shake off centuries of social conditioning. That is exactly why many women turned feminists – to change the existing social situation. But the conditioning doesn’t go away from your head just by deciding to stop thinking that way. It helps, but this is conditioning of another kind too and so it takes time.
It’s okay to take a break: You may be spirited and fiery most of them time. But fielding off the waves of hatred and negativity is emotionally exhausting, so when you hit a low, it’s alright to take a break and come back refreshed.
You don’t need to feel guilty for being a killjoy: OK, so the joke is a little sexist, as are all the other ones that preceded it. It’s okay not to laugh or to berate the person who cracked the joke for showing women in that light. Don’t worry if sometimes the reaction to your serious conversations is a little chilly. Not everybody wants to engage in serious topics, but that’s their affair.
Sometimes you will mess up: Many women are scared of donning the feminist label for fear of being called out and offering less than perfect arguments in return. But then we all make mistakes. Vow to do better in the future and move on.
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