Sex is a very private act. I’m sure everyone will agree on this. Even if you’re down to have the dirtiest sex of your life, you still need some peace and quiet to actually do it, right? Well, that’s what I thought so. Until I realised that not having a place to have sex despite being sufficiently of age was a problem most couples in India face. So how is it a problem really?
1. The constant fear of getting caught
A lot of us live at home or with some of our relatives. Many of us do not have the privilege of having our own apartments with no curfew. As a result of which, you end up sneaking into your boyfriend’s house or him into yours. Even if the sleepover is something that’s out in the open, not many of us would go advertise our sex lives to our family in the same house now, would we?
Similarly, meeting my boyfriend at his place seemed okay but it was hardly peaceful enough to think of having sex. Even if you know that parents are probably not going to intrude upon your alone time with your partner, one can never be too cautious. Automatically waving sex goodbye. Not many of us can wrap our heads around the fact that mine or my partner’s parents are in the next house while we are choking and slamming each other dirty. UMM, NO THANKS.
2. The actual repercussions
I noticed a considerable drop in libido for the few weeks that I did stay over at my partner’s. The single attributing factor I could pinpoint was having family around at all points whenever we tried to be alone. There was no stop in being frisky in the car, in the movie hall, in the restaurant–but anytime we had to spend the night, the sex wasn’t always as satisfying.
This made me realise that having a place to have sex peacefully is a privilege. Sure there are OYO rooms and hotels that have, in recent times, sprung up in number. However, the fear of getting caught there is also manifold. Additionally, it leads to being sneaky and hushed about something that is considered to be as human a need as water. This, in line, adds to the general discomfort, we as Indians feel about sex in general.
3. Could this be contributing to bigger problems?
My boyfriend and I might still be empowered enough to book ourselves a nice cozy place or even have sex while our parents are in the house but it led me to question how the growing frustration would impact those unaware, uneducated, and unempowered? Could this, coupled with the taboo surrounding sex, lead to heinous sexual crimes? Are we conveniently looking the other way when it comes to being open? Tell me what you think?
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