It’s a beautiful but unpredictable world. And ironically, it’s the unpredictability that often enables the good feelings – excitement, adventure, serendipity!
But just as there are two sides to everything, this too, has its negatives. Unpredictability in a personality can often lead to misunderstandings, mistrust and doubt. And in today’s fast paced world, where almost everything can appear to be flaky, is it really a good idea to put your trust in someone’s hands, and trust them with your heart?
While some of the lucky ones might still easily be able to do that, there are truckloads of people who struggle to. Disillusioned by love, cut-up over a former relationship- whatever the reason may be, they find it difficult to remain vulnerable and tend to start questioning everything. So much, that even if a genuine person with good intentions comes along, it leaves them with doubts. “Is he lying?” “Is he faking it? They wonder. But what happens if this doubt escalates, snowballing into unhealthy insecurity? There’s a fine line between being wary and being overly suspicious, and once you cross it, your relationship is bound to take a hit. No one likes an ever suspicious lover, and the receiver of this action is often left wondering why their partner constantly doubts their every move.
Today, for all those who can relate, we attempted a deep dive, into the minds of those, who over the years, develop this unhealthy pattern. We spoke to a psychologist, and she helped us get a clear picture of where these emotions actually stem from, why they’re there and how to tackle them. If you are involved with someone who reflects this, or you are this person yourself, this might interest you…
“Trust issues in people have rapidly been increasing in recent times, and the reason behind this usually traces back to a person’s childhood. A lack of trust between parent-child relationships is often the cause that leads to attention seeking or suspicious behaviour in adulthood,” says psychologist Rochelle Alford. She added, “There are are many proven theories for this pattern of behaviour, including a parents failure to deliver on a made promise, or the betrayal of trust owed to a sexual assault etc. These experiences often trigger off unsettled conditions at a tender age, causing problems to arise in mature relationships, later. So even if a person is completely loyal to you, you might be compelled to think and believe that he /she is indulging in some underhand deeds.”
Realizing that the problem is deeper rooted than it seems, is the start to understanding yourself or your partner better. In all likeliness, the insecurities aren’t only restricted to your or his romantic relationship. It’s quite possible for it to be at the workplace, with friends, family and so on. Once you are aware, that there is a problem that needs to be taken care of, comes the second step – dealing with it. Rochelle said, “A non-judgemental approach is always helpful! Whether it’s your own mind or dealing with another, don’t be so harsh. Talk about it and express yourself. This always lightens the burden and makes things easier. If this doesn’t work, seek professional help. There’s absolutely no harm or no shame in doing so.”
People having or facing these issues need to understand that their actions can be highly corrosive to the human spirit. Always remember – accepting that there is a problem is the key, and the first step to resolving this.
