Consent has become a big part of almost all modern-day relationship conversations. There is a lot more to the term than a simple “no means no”. The trauma attached to anything non-consensual, especially during dating and sex, can truly alter a person.
Bollywood films, Indian advertisements and a generally unaware population, all combine to make consent quite an alien concept in the country. While we—the urban, upper-class youth—might have all the woke knowledge that is needed to argue ourselves out of a social situation, whether we know all aspects of consent is still debatable.
Here lies the big question: What do we really understand about what consent is and how does the dating population navigate it?
Credit: Giphy/Hrithik Roshan
Tinder India did a survey to find out the exact details. An Instagram poll on the app’s Instagram channel has revealed how much modern dating couples know about consent and their perception of it.
What the poll found
While 87% of polled audiences said that they know what consent is, 50% said that they felt awkward while asking for it from their partners. It also revealed that for 84%, flirting is not the same as giving consent, which indicates that consent isn’t something you check off and then don’t ever come back to—it needs to be talked about at every step of a sexual interaction.
With 56% of the audience feeling it necessary to have conversation around setting boundaries in a relationship, it is quite clear that consent is a necessity for ensuring safety and building trust among partners.
Furthermore, a majority (73%) understand that dating someone does not necessarily mean having their consent and 88% agreed that a “no” should be respected and not interpreted as “playing hard to get”.
Finally, 88% of the polled audience did not believe that consent is important only when it comes to sex, highlighting the need for consent in non-sexual interactions as well.
Credit: Giphy/The Bachelorette
A few ways to navigate consent
Tinder, along with Pink Legal and Yuvaa, have come together to create eight simple pointers to keep handy if you are ever confused about the legality or applicability of consent:
1. There is no consent if a person is mentally or physically incapacitated or impaired under the influence of drugs or alcohol—because they cannot understand the fact, nature, or extent of the situation.
2. Consent is freely given when there is no fear, pressure or threat involved. Offenders do not always use physical force; they may use threats, manipulation, or coercion.
3. Obtaining consent from a woman by not only putting her, but even someone she cares about in danger, is also illegal.
4. You always have the right to say ‘no’. The lack of ‘no’ is not consent. If someone seems uncomfortable or hesitant, ask how they are feeling and offer to give them space. ‘Maybe’ also means ‘no’.
Credit: Giphy/JoeFannet
5. A ‘yes’ for one kind of sexual activity does not mean a ‘yes’ for another. Consent isn’t something you give one time—it is something you continuously check about throughout your time together. Even after initial consent, the other person always has the right to change their mind and say no—and so do you.
6. Legal definitions will vary, but sexual assault generally refers to any sexual contact or activity that occurs without the consent of the victim. This includes rape, nonconsensual touching, or forced acts such as performing or receiving oral sex. Oral sex is now considered ‘rape’ under law (Section 375 (d)) of the Indian Penal Code. It also includes forcing a woman to perform any sexual act with another person (even if not with yourself).
7. Any sexual intercourse with a girl under the age of 18 is considered statutory rape under law, even if it was done with her consent.
8. If someone does force you to do something you haven’t agreed to, once you are in a safe space, alert the authorities and let them help you understand what action you can take.
Credit: Giphy/Mic Dot Com
Lead image credit: Viacom 18 Motion Pictures + Colour Yellow Productions
