Dating is meant to be fun and light-hearted. It is a chance to get to know the opposite sex and find someone we feel compatible with and have great chemistry with. But sadly many struggle with dating. Some even wish they could just fast-forward this stage and just be in a committed relationship. There are many reasons why people struggle and Karina Calver, TEDx speaker and founder of Hukam Healing, lists out the common issues that many face.
1. Liking a person too soon
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This is true for women more than men. When a woman meets a guy, the first impression can hypnotize a woman into thinking he is smooth, sensitive and charming. The date goes well and before you know it, the woman is hooked emotionally. There is nothing wrong with liking a person too soon but what it does is, it clouds our judgment and we’re unable to see the guy for who he really is. Our emotions have put him on a pedestal hence we’re unable to truly see him for who he is.
2. How much to text
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When it is early on, there is a desire to text them a lot. There is this obsession because we’re on a high and we can’t help but think of this person 24/7. Okay, maybe not 24/7 but definitely throughout the day and maybe even when we’re asleep dreaming. When this person is on our mind a lot, there will be a tendency of wanting to hear from them every waking moment, which will result in us being glued to our device. While this is so euphoric, it is also short-lived. The question is, how much should one text during the early stages? The sad truth is, there is no set amount of words or number of times one should abide by. I’d say, texting is fine as long as you’re able to still focus on your life. My personal rule is: text back as much as you receive. Texting or communication is like tango. You flow with the energy that is given to you.
3. When should we have sex
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If we’re looking for something long term, then wait to jump on the bed. When we give all of ourselves early on the excitement can die down for men. This isn’t true for all men. But if you were to have sex during your early stages, enjoy it and don’t change how you behave post sex. What that means is, if you’re a girl who is vibrant and bubbly and then you’ve gone distant and quiet, then you’ve let sex change you. Because your mind has gone into overanalyzing if you should have had sex with him. Unknowingly there might have been expectations of what ‘this dating phase’ should mean now. If this sounds like you, take your time to get to know him and then when you feel a connection, get intimate and feel good about it.
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