We’ve all seen VJ, model, and actress Shibani Dandekar-Akhtar’s romance with director, producer, singer, and actor Farhan Akhtar play out over the years on social media. But, before things became a fairytale-esque story, 41-year-old Shibani and 48-year-old Farhan had to navigate some very awkward patches, including, *surprise, surprise* their first few dates.
What Shibani and Farhan’s first and second date was like
Image credit: Instagram.com/shibanidandekar
Shibani opened up to Elle magazine about it, and talked about how their first date was a disaster. He asked her out for breakfast, and they barely talked: “For me this was a bit strange because we hadn’t formed any kind of friendship to even go out for a coffee. But then I thought, why not. He seemed like a really nice guy when we met on the show. So, we went out for a coffee and it was probably the most awkward date I’ve ever had! We met at a restaurant in Bandra at 10:30 am for breakfast. I didn’t know what to make out of this…was it really a date? Or not? Like who asks someone out in the morning? But nevertheless, we go, we have coffee, and there’s just pin drop silence throughout the breakfast.”
Image credit: Instagram.com/shibanidandekar
Shibani’s description of their second date sounds pretty funny, too: “For this date, I went prepared with points that we could talk about. But guess what, we watched the movie and ate the dinner in silence. It’s not as if we didn’t talk at all but there was something missing. The whole evening didn’t seem easy, organic or free- flowing. I eventually left his house thinking he’s a nice guy and I did the right thing by giving it a shot again but I don’t think this is working and it’s time to say bye-bye.”
Image credit: Instagram.com/faroutakhtar
So what changed things and made them pursue this relationship to the point of getting married? Well, Farhan turned out to be a better texter than face-to-face conversationalist.
Lesson? Don’t judge people based on the first date!
Image credit: Instagram.com/shibanidandekar
Everyone has different strengths and different ways of communicating that they are comfortable with. Some people are terrible at texting, while others prefer it. You can’t write off a potential soulmate–or forever co-traveller– based on that!
Image credit: Instagram.com/shibanidandekar
Shibani realised that letting Farhan communicate through means he was comfortable with, helped him open up, allowing them to get to know each other: “This is the moment when I realised that Farhan can express best only via words. That is his strength. He was really able to communicate and say things, which he couldn’t say face-to-face. We chatted for two weeks and every time we were chatting via messages, it was all good but if we did a video call those uncomfortable moments were back! But yes, it took time for him to emote, communicate and open up.”
Love at first sight is not always real
Image credit: Instagram.com/faroutakhtar
Shibani and Farhan’s story is further proof that concepts like “Love at first sight” need to be done away with, and that judging a book by its cover is a bad idea when it comes to dating. Your first impression should not be what you judge a potential love interest on. Not only is it not enough time to get to know a person well, but it is often based on shallow metrics. Shivani summed it up best: “The thing is, when you meet someone for the first time, you carry an image of that person, and it’s only over time that the real self is revealed and one goes beyond the first assumptions. So, while it took time and the start was probably slow, we found our common ground soon.”
Patience, friends, is everything.
Lead Image credit: Instagram.com/shibanidandekar with photography by Sam & Ekta
