Sushmita Sen adopted her first daughter, Renee, at the age of 24 way back in 2000. She recently opened about facing challenges during the adoption process owing to her marital status and age. The actor recalled the time she was in a courtroom for the hearing of Renee’s adoption and how her father, Shubeer Sen, shunned sexist questions thrown at him by the judge.
Sushmita Sen on facing challenges in Renee’s adoption process
Credit: Instagram/sushmitasen47
In 2000, when the concept of single mothers was almost nonexistent in India, Sushmita Sen took it upon herself to break the taboo and redefine motherhood. But the journey to accomplishing that goal was not an easy one. Sushmita revealed that she expected her decision to be met with a lot of opposition on grounds like her age, marital status, etc. And she was not wrong. She was banking on a precedent adoption case of a 29-year-old woman who was single but divorced.
She told Twinkle Khanna on The Icons, “It was just something that I knew I had to do and to do that my last precedent was a 29-year-old divorced woman who was allowed adoption – single but divorced. I am applying at 21, never been married, fertile – all of these are a problem. They would obviously fight it.”
Sushmita Sen’s father supported her through the adoption process
Credit: Instagram/sushmitasen47
Sushmita fostered Renee for six months before the final adoption hearing. She mentioned that she was pretty sure she would succeed since she had bonded with Renee smoothly. The actor even said her father was asked by the judge if he had worries about Sushmita’s marriage after adopting a child. Her father, who was supportive of her decision, gave a befitting reply to the same.
The actor said, “So I had told my baba and the driver, ‘Baba, jaise hi bahar niklenge room se, gadi start karo, hum bhag jaenge bachche ko leke because ye to mazak hai (Dad, as soon as we get out of the room, we’ll run away with Renee in our car because this is a joke.) They can’t say no. She’s almost calling me Ma’.”
Sen recalled sobbing in front of the judge and assuring that she would do an excellent job at taking care of Renee. The judge then asked her father if he was okay with her decision to adopt a child since it would affect her plans to get married and even asked if he feared his daughter would never get married. She recalled her father’s reply and said that while no father would be okay with that, he was sure he never raised her to only be someone’s wife. He also said that he was pretty confident about her choice.
Sushmita quoted him, “She has chosen this motherhood and one thing I know my daughter to do is follow through.”
Sushmita Sen’s experience shows how marriage and motherhood are inextricable in India
Credit: Instagram/sushmitasen47
Sushmita faced challenges in adopting a child in 2000, but even today if a woman in her 20s wishes to be just a mother, she would be extensively probed on why she does not want to attain it through marriage. Sen was 21, an independent adult when she started the adoption process, yet the judge hesitated to grant her permission on the grounds of marriage.
Society has always viewed parenting as a phase that turns up only after marriage. While that is a normalised and acceptable way of starting a family, the idea of a woman wishing to attain motherhood through adoption must be normalised, too. Marriage and motherhood are so inextricably linked in India that other ways of starting a family, like adoption, are considered inadequate. Be it biological, or via a surrogate, or through adoption, motherhood cannot vary on the basis of how a woman has reached there.
Social and lead images credit: Instagram/sushmitasen47
