It is not just a romance gone wrong when we hear of break-ups. Friends move away and break up too. It is just a matter of time when you start to see people for who they really are than how they were showing themselves to be. For those of us who attach ourselves to emotions and relations, we make excuses for the people whom we love. Unfortunately, there must come a time–no matter how hard and heartbreaking it might be–to move away from friendships that do us no good.
Break-ups are ugly, no matter if the person involved is a boyfriend or a friend. Here are five things you can ask yourself to be sure that the path you are choosing is the best for you:
1. Are they adding any value to your life?
Friendships are supposed to be healthy and nurturing. They keep isolation and loneliness at bay, making our lives and souls richer and more meaningful. But if a friend does not do that and is not serving a purpose rather than just taking up space in your life, then it is time to cut and throw this bare lump of flesh out of your life.
2. Are they helping you grow?
It is understandable if you keep a friend on your emergency contact because they have known you all your lives. But just like water is to plants, relationships too have a role in the growth of a person. If they constantly snub you for the person you’re becoming and don’t like evolution as such, it is time you choose your growth over friends who do not appreciate you changing.
3. Are they not supportive and constantly bringing you down?
Do they make jokes at your expense, are not happy with your success, and rub things in your face with something that could’ve been hidden? Well, these are all signs that it is time to bounce, forever! You’ll significantly grow once you are out from under the shadow of a negative person.
4. Can you expect the same from them as much as you are willing to do for them?
If it is not a two-way road then you better be catching the highway alone. You might have definitely heard this tip before but in the context of marriage–creating a give-and-take relationship is crucial to sustaining a healthy relationship.
It is not difficult to understand and implement this in all your relationships. The principles of this advice apply to friendships because they are made out of choice and you do things for them thinking they deserve this love. But you deserve the same if not more. So if a mature discussion doesn’t lead to them mending their ways… well, you at least gave them a second chance!
5. Are they even your go-to person when in troubled times?
Fair-weather friends come in abundance, but they shouldn’t be a part of your innermost circle. As long as it is going great, people are happy and invested. Then the tables turn, and you see that they are unavailable. It so often happens that you hear your friends rant about the smallest of things but as soon as you have a problem, they turn a deaf ear.
These are the people you should break up with. Major life circumstances like break-ups, divorce, health issues, loss of a close one, monetary loss, etc. are left untended by these so-called BFFs– then you know the drill.
