Toxic relationships are often too complicated. You never know you’re in one until it is too late. However, figuring out if the person you’re with is a douchebag can help you make up your mind about the connection in time.
People on this Reddit thread came together to share tips and tricks on how to figure out if the person you’re talking to is an asshole, and it is a super helpful compilation of anecdotes, stories, and guidelines on how to not get stuck with douchebags for life.
Here are some of the best tips out there.
1. If They’re ‘Always Right’, Stay Away
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“If they’re the ‘never in the wrong’ kinda person. I don’t mean someone who has an inability to admit they’re incorrect (which is also douchey), but the kind of person, even when caught dead-to-rights, will find a way to claim no wrongdoing.
I once caught a college roommate going through a care package my mother had sent me— happily eating the baked goods, perusing the clothing she’d sent— and I was like, ‘dude! What the FUCK?!’ and he goes, ‘I thought you said I could have some!’.
I’d received the package a day earlier when he wasn’t even around and had put it under my bed while STILL SEALED. Yet he thought that ‘I thought you said I could have some’ shit would work. He even told me to ‘chill the fuck out’ when I got righteously angry.”
2. Not Everything Is A Competition
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“Everything is a competition. You say you had a long day and you’re tired? Well, their day was harder and they’re more tired.”
3. Sometimes, It ‘IS’ Your Fault
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“I find if someone constantly blames their hardships/problems/etc on other people, they are usually a douchebag. If you ran into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole in the afternoon, you ran into assholes all day, then you’re probably the asshole.”
4. Jokes Are Not An Excuse To Be Horrible
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“They decide whether or not a shitty comment they made was ‘just a joke’ based on people’s reaction. I’m talking about people who joke about things like ‘Hitler was right’ or when they tell me to ‘kill myself for being trans,’ and then pass it off as ‘bro I was just joking, can’t you take a fucking joke?’”
5. How They Treat Others
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“How they treat anyone performing any service for them shows what they are like as a person. Servers, taxi drivers, etc. My wife’s father gave her advice as a young girl that I always thought summed it up well: ‘If he is nice to you but not nice to the waitress he is not a nice person.’”
6. Gatekeeping Is Not Cool
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“If they’re a gatekeeper of any kind. If you watch a show and they say it’s the wrong one or they’ve been watching it longer. Or they shame you for watching it in a language you’re more comfortable with. If you listen to a music group, and they say that they’ve been listening to them since before they got famous. If it’s a sports team, they know more stats than you. Then they spend the whole conversation either being condescending to you or quizzing you about it.”
Life is full of different kinds of relationships. Often, just because it is not a romantic tryst, we tend to ignore red flags in our platonic relationships. These little pieces of advice from strangers on the internet will help you figure out if a person is good for you or not.
Do you have any tips on weeding out the negative people in your life? Tell us in the comments below.
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