Sex is not always as perfect and smooth-going as they show it in the movies. In fact, veterans would agree it’s rarely perfect. Things just happen and the (awkward) memories stay with you for as long as you live.
At some point, many users on Twitter and Reddit decided it was time they shared these unique stories with the world. And after reading a few, we knew we had to share these with you. Whether you want to cringe or have a hearty laugh is totally up to you.
1. Bad timing
Image credit: iStock
“Was going really hard. Pushed a little bit too hard and farted right as I came. A girlfriend might have laughed it off. My Tinder date did not.”
2. Hair me out
Image credit: iStock
“This girl invited me over to her dorm my first year of uni. We listened to music, watched cartoons and eventually started making out. One thing led to another and we had sex and I asked if I could spend the night.
We fooled around a little bit longer. Eventually I got up (still naked) to get some water. She saw how hairy my ass was, laughed out loud and asked me to get dressed and go home.”
3. Eat, sleep, repeat
Image credit: iStock
“My gf and I suffered through a nine month long distance relationship, and one time after a long travel day to see her, I was going down on her. Well jet lag hit me pretty hard and I fell asleep, face down in between her legs”
This reminds us of the Guys We F****d podcast series by Luminary, which has an episode titled ‘A Girl Put A Finger In Your Butt And You Passed Out’. The episode has stand up comedian Usama Siddiquee getting candid about the strangest of his sexual encounters and his sexual awakening.
4. Hello there!
Image credit: iStock
“Please tell me your embarrassing sex stories so I feel better. I just thought about the time a few years ago when a guy went down on me and we made eye contact and I waved for some reason.”
5. Bedtime stories
Image credit: iStock
“When I lost my virginity he didn’t even get it in me, he was having sex with my bed and didn’t even realize it, i wasn’t turned on, but i liked him so i let him continue having sex with my bed and never told him”
6. Slappy work
Image credit: iStock
“Once my husband slapped me in the face trying to be rough, and I started crying and then he started crying, and it was awkward…”
7. Inhale good vibes
“Dude was hittin it from behind and then stopped, got up, used his inhaler, then went right back to it like nothing happened.”
8. Bloody business
“Omfg my sister had her tongue pierced and was giving some guy a head. Suddenly her mouth was full of blood. She thought she ripped out her tongue ring at first, turns out she tore his foreskin”
9. It’s raining cats and…
Image credit: iStock
“Drunken sex after a wedding with an ex. Went back to my place. She had some kinky desires and tied me to the bed (pretty much the most vanilla sex she could do). So, she put that magic wand with a cock sleeve and lube around me. Wonderful wonderful wonderful 10 minutes. Until. I felt like I was about to cum.
Then I peed so hard I hit the ceiling and the fan. It rained for half a sec, and soaked the bed. Anyway, cleaned it all up, showered and drove her home. We laughed most of the way there.”
Lead image credit: DMS Films, Balaji Motion Pictures
