Online dating has taken the world by storm, especially now with the pandemic. There are more lonely hearts needing someone to be with. But, aside from that, we are also extremely globalised so that distance is less of a problem for many people. Having said that, one needs to be aware of the red flags that show up. The Tinder Swindler documentary has alarmed more women into being careful. Karina Calver, TEDx speaker and founder of Hukam Healing, shares danger signs one should pay attention to.
1. Saying ‘I Love You’ too soon
Credit: iStock
Words of affection should be saved when you really know the person. The connection takes time to develop. So when a guy love bombs you with affection within the the first month, I’d say you’ve been scammed. You need to ask yourself—what does he love about me? How much does he even know me to say these three precious words?
2. Unrealistic photos
Credit: iStock
If anyone’s photos are too perfect then you need to be careful. When I say perfect, it would mean, the view looks like a postcard, he looks like a model and is wearing what seems like ultra expensive clothing. If it is too good to be true, then it is too good a.k.a fake.
The question you need to ask yourself is, “Why is such a ‘perfect’ looking guy on a dating site if he is real?” If you still want to put your hand in the fire, then suggest a video call and make it unexpected so you see him for who he is. Don’t give him time to get dolled up or for someone else to pretend to be him.
3. Too much too soon
Credit: iStock
If he starts telling you about himself without you asking and not just the basic information, but he goes into details about his background and his life, this should ring an alarm bell. What he is doing is selling you who he wants you to believe.
Most guys aren’t much of a conversationalist, especially when it comes to bragging about themselves. So, if they are doing that then they are either a narcissist or are trying to scam you in one way or the other. When a guy talks about himself, he shares little information and then asks about you. It is a slow, steady pace of him revealing himself. Men in general are private and prefer sharing more as they get comfortable and have established some level of a connection with a woman.
4. Over the top gestures
Credit: iStock
If the first date is way too lavish for an average person then you need to pay attention to that. Overly extravagant gestures would be like flying you to another city or buying you an expensive gift on the first date, or even booking a suite for the night at a five-star hotel because he is confessing how he has truly enjoyed the night and that you are his dream come true.
These are warning signs that he is a con and something is up his sleeve. A regular guy would wine and dine you at a nice restaurant, and either take you home or make sure you get home safely. That is what a date should look like.
Again, how a guy arranges a date varies—some may organize an adventurous date that involves water sports or a picnic and both of these dates are great fun to do. The rule of dating online is if you can guess that way too much money is spent on a date, then you should be concerned.
While online dating can be daunting, it opens up the world via our fingertips. Remain mindful of the red flags and don’t fall for everything that is said early on. Be alert of what he says and whether his actions are consistent over a period of time. As long as you have them both (head and heart) with you, then online dating can be just as exciting.
Lead Image Credit: Dear Zindagi, Red Chillies Entertainment
