Whether you realise it or not, money forms a big part of relationships. Whether it is in the big investments–trips, gifts, anniversary dinners–or the small ones such as cabs to each other’s houses, ordering out for lunch, etc. Having a bank balance that doesn’t match your partner’s or earning less than one’s partner can have a major role to play in how relationships pan out. However, finding that financial balance can be tricky ground.
For me, my partner earns more and it has created a few challenges to deal with. For a lot of couples, this could be a pressure point as well.
The pressure of planning big dates
The ease with which my boyfriend can commit to any big relationship idea is much more than I can, currently. This would mean things like planning a weekend getaway or having dinner at a fancy 5-star restaurant. Since I am not as financially sound, it isn’t as easy a decision for me.
What has helped is a more honest form of communication. Instead of feeling bad about not being able to contribute or commit, it is better to openly talk and address the situation. Feeling guilty about not having enough money is stupid because it means we have accepted that this is the ONLY position we will be in for the rest of our lives….which is not true! So why feel bad?
The smaller bits of the relationship
On an everyday basis, there’s meetings after work, going for regular, less fancy dinners, chilling at home with beers, watching something on streaming platforms, drives etc. There isn’t much spending involved in these situations and you end up in them more often than not.
Here, it is easier to navigate the money dynamics with a more equal footing. Since the costs are lesser, it is easier to contribute or even pay for the entire experience sometimes. Still, communication on money matters is key for the smooth flowing of the relationship. It ensures that both partners know where the other stands with financial matters and their habits of spending.
The overall impact
Mentally, it can be quite daunting to have a partner who can afford to do more. It even depends how much that gap is, actually. However, there is nothing that clear and honest communication cannot solve. Although it is easy to get intimidated when it comes to talking about money, because it comes from a place of insecurity, but for this aspect of a relationship, it is advisable to look at it from a solution-oriented point of view rather than seeing it as a cause of any shortcomings. The objective is to create a harmonious balance as a couple together!
PICTURE COURTESY: Giphy, Amazon Prime ( Bewakoofiyan)
