A breakup is either permanent or it is a plea for change in the relationship dynamics. The optimistic in me assumed the best. When my former and first boyfriend broke up with me, I thought we’d still talk, be in touch, and eventually get back together. But something nasty was in store for me. I didn’t hear from him at all, and the worst? Well, I couldn’t check his life updates or his “last seen” because he left zero digital footprint behind–he was nowhere on social media!
The ex with no digital footprint
My ex was older than I was–exactly eight years older to be precise. When he cut contact with me, I couldn’t rely on his social media to sooth the burn of separation. He used text messages to contact people and was a call person, unlike the millennial texter. He had no clue how to function an Instagram or Snapchat account, in his defence he saw no point in wasting his time on the apps. He, however, did have a Facebook account which was dormant because he had made it when it had just spurted but yet again found no logic in it. Oh my dear and old logic-seeking lover!
The routine stalking of the ex was not an option for me
It was almost routine for my friends to stalk their crushes, exes and partners on social media. If they were blocked, the rest of us would do the dirty work of stalking them. But nobody could help me. I did not have a common circle with him and neither did my friend’s gel well with my “sugar daddy” as they called him.
I was crying my face off in a pillow and avoiding stepping out to hide the misery that was written all over my face. All this while I wondered what he would be doing. Would he be out with his friends, drinking at the same bar he always went to? Did he go to his grandfather’s cottage in the hills to take some time off? Is he on a work trip abroad, again? Has he met someone already? Have I been replaced? I had no answers only questions and insecurity filling up the void my heart was now.
Had he been on social media, I would’ve had a purpose to mourn the death of our relationship. I would’ve been angry at him for moving on so soon. But I knew nothing now.
Thinking of it now, it was better than having an ex who is super active on social media
In retrospect, it was the best thing that could’ve happened to me. I cried for a week and I was normal after that. Because I had nothing to stalk, I wasn’t wasting time feeling miserable on the phone. I went back to my first breakup when I encountered something similar yet again. The optimist in me found myself waiting for my now-ex boyfriend to contact me again.
I slowly saw him unfollow me on Instagram while I still watched his stories and liked his pictures, he then removed me from his friend list, then from his Facebook, and finally blocked me on WhatsApp. Ouch! I went through all of that and felt terrible but continued to have him stalked by my friends. It has been a while and I still think about him each day. By that, I mean a whole year.
