The human mind often tends to go into overdrive and give into fears – some rational and some irrational, much ahead of what we even fear can happen. One such daunting thought that most kids who share a close bond with their parents have is that of losing a parent. It is easily one of those thoughts that make us flinch so hard, we wish the musing wasn’t conceived in the first place.
So how does one cope with their parents getting older? How do we prep ourselves emotionally, for something that is inevitable? We chatted with R. Alford, senior counsellor at 1to1help.net in Bengaluru, who shared some insights with us.
“Fearing your parents getting older is very common. We associate old age with death, and death with having to part from someone we love–which will only obviously lead to darker thoughts,” she says. “The first thing that you should acknowledge is that you aren’t the only one who worries or overthinks about these things. At some point, all of us do.”
Talking about how we can work on overcoming this, she added: “Focus on what you can control, and let go of everything else. Realising that growing older is something that you cannot stop from happening is the key. All of us at this very moment are getting older, so if you let these thoughts consume you, it can take you to a very anxious place. See, losing a loved one is one of the toughest things for a human to deal with, but you have to tell yourself that only when you get to the bridge, is it necessary to cross it. By constantly dreading the future, you are taking away from the present moment. Spend time with your parents, be actively involved with them – these are things that are in your control.”
You see, anxiety can manifest in many ways–this, probably being one of the worst. The only way to combat this is to believe in the power of now – that is your only reality. As the famed author and spiritual teacher, Eckhart Tolle once said: “Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry – all forms of fear – are caused by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of non-forgiveness are caused by too much past and not enough presence. The present is the only thing that truly matters.”
