“I still love the people I’ve loved. Even if I cross the street to avoid them…” – Uma Thurman
There are some relationships that last way beyond a breakup – they linger on in our minds and every now and then, we’re transported back in time, daydreaming about a moment in the past in which we were truly happy. We are enveloped in a thought or a memory that makes us, for a fleeting second, wish we could relive it.
If you were in a relationship that ended due to whatever reason, you’d agree that sometimes, it’s hard to forget and just “get over it.” Especially because at one time you were emotionally invested in it and spent moments with the person who you absolutely adored and cherished. Goodbyes aren’t always the easiest and even if it was a bad break-up, it’s absolutely normal for you to miss him in waves – sometimes greatly and sometimes for just a quarter second. It’s normal to feel a sudden void or to have the sudden urge to see him. You’re allowed to miss him. However, what you aren’t allowed to do is confuse missing him with wanting him back in your life.
It’s important for you to accept that when you miss an ex, it’s because your focus is on the good times. You are revisiting the past, reminiscing the highlights of your relationship with him – but logic insists it’s necessary for you to always remember that you broke up for a reason, and if everything was so perfect like you’re remembering it now, the two of you would’ve been together today.
As any avid giver of second chances would tell you, most times, when we go back to an ex, it doesn’t work out! It’s a tried and tested theory that has always concluded in the negative. The euphoria only lasts for the first couple of days and then, you’re back to evaluating why you broke up, why you’ve given him another chance and how bizarre it is for you to believe that things might be different, this time around.
Ladies, if you’re in a sticky situation like this, don’t let your mind trick you. It’s human to feel sadness over losing someone who once played a important role in your life – Go ahead, cry a little bit, watch a senti film, eat a tub of ice-cream – knock yourself out on the clichés… don’t deny yourself the experience of any emotion. Miss them, but know – this feeling will pass. Shift the nucleus to why your life is better without them and backspace that text you typed out in a moment of weakness.
Conquer this thought – you’ve got this!
