Back when I was in school, the internet was not really a thing yet. So you couldn’t just google things like “Is it weird to feel pain during sex?” and then get your answers in the snap of a finger.
I was in a Catholic convent school and I remember our Class 8 (and above) sex education seminar, which was taught by a priest! Yes, we had a celibate man of the cloth teach us about sex. Since it was Catholic, it pressed more on abstinence rather than safe sex, but it was still an interesting two hours.
Now, the situation is entirely different. Everything you’d want to know is at the tap of a button. But people are still confused about how their bodies work. There are still a lot of misconceptions, especially around sex, and what happens to your body during the act.
So, we’re going to list down three things that happen quite often and explain the basics so that we’re all more informed about our own bodies.
1. Squirting
First up, it is NOT like what you see in porn. Women don’t usually let out a jet stream of liquid if they squirt during sex. Porn makes it way too dramatic, to say the least.
A 2015 study done by a French university found that between 10 to 54 per cent women squirt. That’s a huge variation but one thing is clear: about half of women don’t squirt at all. So, if it’s not happening for you, don’t sweat it. There’s nothing wrong with you, your body or your partner.
Another study done by Pornhub (you’d think they’d portray squirting more accurately since they’re doing actual studies on it), women search for squirting videos way more than men do. I’m definitely one of those women. It started out as curiosity when it happened to me for the first time. And then it ended up with a full-blown two-hour internet research on squirting.
What I found? The liquid you release contains the same components as urine but is not fully urine either. You also release anywhere between 0.3 ml to 150 ml of it. And all of it is completely normal. So whether you squirt or not, don’t stress over it. All of it is as it should be.
2. Your partner suddenly can’t get it up
Again, unless he can’t get it up at all and at all times, not being able to get an erection or sustain it is normal. It can be due to a variety of reasons from having too much to drink or desensitisation through too much masturbation (yes, it happens!)
Certain factors like excess alcohol, drugs like cocaine, stress, and medication can all be related to an inability to get a hard on. Talk to your partner about it. Assure them that it’s nothing to be ashamed of. If it persists, get medical help. But remember, it happens to even the studliest most stereotypically testosterone-fuelled men. Don’t lose your mind over it.
3. Queefing
Queefing is that funny sound your vagina sometimes makes during penetration. It’s like a fart, but from your vagina. Many women are embarrassed by it, but I can assure you that in the past 10 years of being a sexually active woman, it happens more often than you think.
Most men ignore it and continue. For those men who think it is weird, you should probably stop sleeping with them. Sure, it’s a bit unpleasant but it’s really just air that’s stuck in your vaginal cavity being released. It’s not nuclear and isn’t going to harm anyone.
