Breakups have no formula. You cannot navigate your way out of a heart break, there’s no alternative to the sadness you will feel or the loss that engulfs you. However, the one part of a breakup you can control is communication. Closure conversations are usually something all couples discuss during this hard time but the larger question is, are they emotionally manipulative or a much-needed end to everything? Here’s what both sides of that equation mean.
Manipulation through and through
In this situation, you’re in a relationship where you’re looking for your partner to say the right things instead of actually seeing them prove their words. You’ve done the breaking up ( either you or your significant other) and now you cannot deal with the reality of it. So you wait and press for a closure conversation just for the reminiscing involved. It’s usually a cue for either parties to go back to the relationship dynamic because these conversations have no indication of becoming a real change.
This kind of a situation can also be attached to a recent break-up–one where there’s still remnants of conversation still flying around. Both of y’all might have wanted the end however none of you realized it would mean completely breaking a cycle of dependence, which no joke, is the HARDEST part of any break up. The closure conversation would typically also involve some lofty promises, a recap of the good times and perhaps a little fights here and there, however no real self-reflection. In this case, the whole premise is super manipulative because it is just an excuse to recuperate.
Much-needed
On this side of the spectrum, closure conversations involve actual self-analysis. When a conversation with an ex is much-needed, it’s usually after some considerable time has passed and there has been some healing done on both sides. Even if it is a means to know how your ex has been doing, this closure conversation would have both good parts and the bad. They’re not a way to get back, neither are they full of big promises or immature accusations, it is real, honest and true.
Which side of the spectrum do you fall on? Let us know in the comment section below!
PICTURE COURTESY: Love Aaj Kal 2, Giphy
