What is the definition of a soulmate? Someone who makes you feel complete, wanted, and loved. Someone who understands you and with whom you share an instant connection. But who decides on that one soulmate for you?
Soulmates and dating apps
Our obsession with finding a soulmate is so damn relatable that we don’t even laugh when someone gets on dating apps to find one. Blinded by the want of a companion in a motive-driven world, we forget to have experiences to maintain tags. We won’t deny the fact that people don’t seem to be as committed to the idea of making it work with one person as they were even half a century before. Times have changed as access to more options has become a part of our dating life. You do not settle with a below average “soulmate”, you settle with the person you are compatible with.
But our old-school, Bollywood-fed romantic dreams die hard, which is one reason why people are open to finding life-long partners on dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, etc.. The concept of “having fun” is then warped because it is a way to lead someone on till they believe they are in love with you.
All sexual partners are not lovers, all make-outs don’t lead to relationships
It is as simple as this. Even if one out of the two people who get into an arrangement of being convenient sexual partners falls in love, the other is not bound to follow suit. This often leaves people with dejected feelings and they feel emotionally used. However, there is a correction to make. You were the one who chased them down the love lane, they were maintaining their side of the bargain when you started to look for love and commitment.
So if you are one of those who wear their hearts on their sleeves, then put it out as a disclaimer on your bio in all dating apps. Nobody wants to break your heart purposefully, but they might ghost you because their feelings didn’t come prepared.
Soulmates only an Indian concept?
While there is no harm in looking for “the one”, but then the concept of a dating app is misconstrued largely. If you cannot go with the flow and enjoy the other person’s company, you are bound to feel lost in the dating pool. Let’s narrow it down to Indians–we have friends and family around us whom we have clearly seen change since childhood. They have become commitment-phobic, emotionally unavailable, and disoriented with the idea of love. How is this large group of people then a part of anybody’s idea of a soulmate? Unless you are one of those who loves to heal their partner and love them as broken and damaged as they come emotionally.
What if soulmates are not even what you make them to be?
How can everybody’s soulmate be a young dashing man who is around the same age bracket or a beautiful loving woman even? Because they cannot be. You might find your soulmate in a 50-year-old man while you are in your twenties. A man in his thirties can find his soulmate in a woman who’s much older. But that doesn’t make them compatible. These are just some ideas of soulmates that have taken a seat in your subconscious because of cinema and literature. What if soulmates are not lovers, but friends or family? There is no definitive answer to this.
So as long as you agree that the subject of soulmates is subjective, believe in going with the flow and having some “fun”, and not make dating apps your matrimonial hunting ground–you will have more fun in life.
