NO! I didn’t really match up to a conventional coy Indian bride on my big day. I refused the play the part of the coy bride at my wedding, and I don’t regret it one bit.
We can’t deny that even today in our patriarchal society, women are expected to play the docile and sharmili bahu. I have seen brides being told to not giggle much, or be over-friendly with the guests and it kind of irks me to the core. Telling a girl how to behave and suppress her true emotions on the biggest day of her life is not what sanskaar is all about. While some of us are blessed with families who let us be, others may not. Here’s a sincere note to all those ladies out there on why you should go all–Laaj sharam chhad, aaj sharam chhad on your wedding day!
Here’s why I don’t regret being myself on my wedding and you shouldn’t too. Read on to get inspired:
1. It was MY wedding
I have been a rebel since childhood, and I have no qualms accepting it. Since, it was my wedding, I definitely left no stone unturned to make it the best day of my life. The one thing I didn’t want on my D-Day was for my gestures and smiles to be dictated. I was sure I wouldn’t let other people decide the length of my smile. We all have that one relative, who comes to your wedding with a mission–to make you all sorts of uncomfortable. Let me remind you again, ladies. It’s your wedding and no other chachi, bua or mausi can ruin it for you.
2. It got me the best pictures ever
There’s a reason we have candid wedding photography specialists, right? Trust me, my wide smiles just got me the best of my wedding shots ever. Now when I look at Deepika Padukone’s wedding pictures full of cheek to cheek smiles that made her wedding look so much fun and candid, I don’t regret it. Ask me why? Because, I did the same. I know looking at Deepika, Anushka Sharma, and Priyanka Chopra’s beaming smiles during their wedding, many people might have regretted hiding their batteesi. Because when you are going crazy with immense joy, show it! Laugh as much you want without the fear of being judged. Always remember, great smiles are the mantra to great pictures. They make your pictures so lively and endearing.
3. I was hungry and I was fed kebabs at the mandap!!!!
Now before you all jump to conclusions, judge me on religious grounds, and call me an atheist already–let me be clear. The most infuriating rule that people follow during a traditional Bengali wedding is keeping the bride and groom hungry all-day long. I had a massive problem with that. I mean, how can a bride look beautiful when all her tummy wants is food?! My husband was strictly against me fasting. So, during the wedding, he asked for some chicken kebabs and fed me in the mandap. It raised some eyebrows but we didn’t care.
4. I danced my heart out till the dawn
A traditional Bengali wedding doesn’t really have a dance floor and a DJ. But I made sure my wedding had one; and I danced my heart out till dawn just like I would on any other day with my friends. The tricky part was the heavy Benarasi sari–but when you are in the mood to swing, nothing else bothers you. Becoming a wife or a daughter-in-law didn’t really control my dance steps or my choice of dance partner. Touch wood!
5. Showed off my back like it’s no big deal
While some may disagree, but I firmly believe that patriarchy can’t decide the length of your neckline or your back–even for your wedding outfit. Eventually, it all boils down to log kya kahenge?! You scout through your entire Instagram feed, and decide to get the most trendy blouse with your wedding lehenga or sari. What happens next? All unwanted suggestions start pouring in about the size and shape of your blouse. Fortunately, I didn’t face any such situation, and rocked an almost backless blouse with a traditional banarasi and loved it. So should you.
All I am saying is, do what makes you happy. Be a badass bride, because ain’t we tired of essaying the role of a sati-savitri for decades? After all, bad is the new good.
