How many of us are in relationships but we’re too scared to mess it up? Well, I could write a book on that crippling anxiety. This article looks to highlight that as well. For a lot of women, this would probably be relatable because the endless heartbreaks, toxic relationships, the unrealistic beauty standards and patriarchy combined have form one giant mess–one wherein you might be happy but a little too much of it can trigger you into believing something bad will happen. Some of us might even be so overwhelmed with that thought, we might mess things up intentionally just so we don’t get to blame anyone else. Here’s where I stand.
Relationships today and the fear of change
A good relationship today is a rare find–mostly everyone agrees to that. When we do find it, we try to hold onto it with every ounce of strength we gather. Personally, when you’re convinced you’ve found ‘the one’, you don’t want it to change. Weirdly enough, with the way relationships are progressing in the internet world, even admitting to that is a huge step. A step not many want to take because it can translate into wanting to make more of the relationship–something both parties might not be at the right place to do. Let me explain to you real quick— you’re dating someone for a year or so, everything is great. However, the moment you hint that “’you’re the one for me’’, the intensity of the relationship magnifies. For the relationship to progress now, both partners need to be at the same level, otherwise you’re left feeling more in love than the other person. It is also not a conversation you can just leave, if it doesn’t turn out the way you anticipated.
The burden of being the one
Even if marriage and life long journeys are not in the picture, the burden of being “the one’’ is quite big. It’s not a statement you just make–so if someone is just saying it for fun, it’s not right. Unless you truly feel that way, it’s incorrect to put that burden on your partner. Additionally, it’s not a conversation that can be sprung up randomly on a Tuesday night-in at 1:30 am. It’s one of those real, long and deep conversations that need time and clarity. Even though I’m confident about my side, the fear here, which is natural for anyone, is that it leads to the question, “What next?’’. The advice here is to take your time. Have a conversation with yourself first, dedicate time and energy to the conversation, no matter what the outcome. Life’s about facing your fears, isn’t it?
PICTURE COURTESY: Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani, Giphy
