If you’re being tyrannized by your partner, raise your hands! Well, it’s not a great feeling I know and I feel you. If you’re constantly monitored and dictated by your partner on what to do and what not to, things can get horrifying. From what to wear to what to eat, who to hang out with and what to post on social media–constantly being told what to do gets too much to bear. Keeping a track of who follows you and who you follow, who comments on your picture and what do you like on other’s profile is never a healthy sign in a relationship. Any sort of control is detrimental to your relationship. I was constantly controlled by my ex-boyfriend and after a point, the relationship turned into a noose. What makes me write about it even now when I am happily married to the man of my dreams is the hope that this will inspire you to not let your partner do that to you! Here are a few dreadful things I had to deal with and wouldn’t want any other woman to suffer through. If your partner does all this to you as well, it’s time you ASK THEM TO STOP!
1. Not allowed to post pictures in shorts
Well, I am sure many girls out there would relate to this. You may wear shorts and dresses all the time, but when you post it on social media, he says: “Mummy dekhegi toh kya sochegi”. Like, really dude?
2. If you do post, hide them!
I remember how I was made to hide all my pictures in shorts, along with the ones where I was holding a beer bottle in my hand. Because you know, sanskaar! Because typical adarsh sanskari bahus don’t do this!
3. I was constantly questioned
“Who’s that boy liking your picture on Instagram?”– was the most frequent (and chronic) question I was asked for a very long time. God forbid if I ever responded to the comment–I had to be prepared to answer tonnes of suspicious questions which would further lead to major fights. Does that happen to you as well?
4. Not allowed to tag him in a picture
The worst was when despite dealing with all the restrictions, terms, and conditions I wasn’t allowed to post any pictures of us together on social media. Because you know–humare yahan shaadi se pehle aise Facebook pe photos nahi dalte! Back then, fuming deep within, I only had one thought–are you fooling your mum or me?
If you find yourself in a similar situation, remember this: you’re not answerable to anyone for things you like and love to do, social media being one of them. If your partner limits your social media activity and you’re always expected to be answerable, then you know where the relationship is heading. The least they could do is to trust you. Trust is the underlying factor of any relationship.
Now before you all jump into the comments section saying asking why I let it happen for so long, my answer is this: I did try to make the person understand the problems in his behaviour. I did try to broaden his mind but eventually realised it’s a waste. That’s when I decided to move out of the relationship as I realised I am meant for better and like-minded people and make my life a little less stressful. Ladies, if your partner does the same to you, let me tell you, you can never change someone’s mentality, so stop stressing over things you can’t change! Admit the fact that you are meant for someone better who would accept, respect and love you the way you are without putting any restrictions on you.
