Malaika Arora and her ex-husband, Arbaaz Khan, were recently spotted at the airport, welcoming their son, Arhaan, as he returned from the U.S. Paparazzi present at the arrival gate captured the moment and posted some videos of Malaika and Arbaaz hugging their son, on Instagram.
While most people saw this and remarked how great it is that the former couple has decided to co-parent their child together, others weren’t as kind. Some chose to drag Malaika’s current partner, Arjun Kapoor into the conversation, with comments like, “I hope Arjun is watching this,” others wrote things like, “In sabme bache safar karte h.. Na idhar k rehte h na udhar k,” lamenting their divorce.
Credit: Instagram.com/viralbhayani
That makes this as good a time as any to re-examine our society’s preconceived notions about divorce, and about raising children of divorce with healthy co-parenting, especially since Malaika and Arbaaz are great examples of the latter.
The comments people made imply divorce is always a bad thing, especially for kids
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Picture this. A married couple with a child no longer gets along. They bicker, feel unhappy with each other, quarrel in front of their child, and involuntarily, drag that child into their fights. Then, they decide to get divorced. They live separately, don’t fight anymore, feel happy, and the child gets to spend time with a better version of his or her parents as a result, not having to put up with squabbling at home. Is this such a bad solution?
People who seek a divorce are clearly unhappy together and don’t want to be in that relationship anymore. In such cases, a divorce is clearly freeing for the couple. So why does it bother society so much when people get divorced?
Yes, children can be hurt during a divorce. But it also hurts to see parents fight
Credit: Instagram.com/malaikaaroraofficial
There are many instances where parents’ breaking up can really hurt a child and leave them confused. But there are also instances where children don’t thrive in an environment where their parents are unhappy with each other. Thanks to this stigma surrounding divorce in our culture, we tend to think all instances of divorce only hurt the child, and we don’t take into account the examples of kids who are better off once their bickering parents separate.
Does a child want to grow up in a home where the parents don’t get along with each other? How long will we perpetuate this mindset that a couple that’s not getting along should stay together for the sake of their child? Do we really think children don’t notice their parents fighting? Do we really believe children can’t tell when their parents are not getting along anymore? Do we think this undercurrent of hostility doesn’t leave a child torn? How is this environment conducive to a pleasant home life?
Co-parenting correctly means not letting your issues affect your child
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A child’s relationship with their parent should not be coloured by the child’s parents’ interpersonal equation. Once parents aren’t involved with each other as a couple, their only role is to focus on what is best for their child, so the child’s needs take precedence over the fights of the parents.
Malaika and Arbaaz might not be together anymore, but they show up for their child. The fact that they came to the airport together to welcome him home shows that they put their own differences aside to put him first. Similarly, Sussanne Khan moved back in with Hrithik Roshan during the pandemic to co-parent their kids together. This kind of healthy parenting should be lauded.
Mature partners like Arjun Kapoor know how to deal with a partner who has kids
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Kareena Kapoor Khan had a very mature take on her relationship with Sara Ali Khan, her husband Saif Ali Khan’s child from his previous marriage with Amrita Singh. When asked about her relationship with Saif’s kids on Koffee With Karan, she said, “He (Saif) did tell me that ‘My two children are my family and they’re going to be there with me and they are of utmost importance in my life,’ and I was like, ‘I love you and I want to embrace everything about you.'”
When asked about whether she talks to Amrita Singh, Kareena talked about how their paths don’t cross, but she still respects her: “No, but I have utmost respect and regard for her. We’ve never met. And I met Saif also many years after he got divorced,” adding how she doesn’t need to be their “Chhoti Maa” to be a part of their lives, “I mean they’re lovely kids.”
Credit: Instagram.com/saraalikhan95
This is a good rebuttal to those talking about how Arjun should have been there to receive Arhaan, or implying that Arjun should have a problem with Malaika being there for her kid with Arbaaz. Arbaaz and Malaika are Arhaan’s parents, and that doesn’t change after their divorce. Arjun and Malaika are partners, and they each have their families to take care of. Why do we need to unnecessarily tie those aspects together and expect Arjun to play the father-figure here? Why do we need to force the idea that he should have a problem with Malaika co-parenting her child with Arbaaz?
It’s not that hard to understand that every human has other people in their life, be it an ex-boyfriend, an ex-husband, kids from a different relationship, or parents who might currently be a priority. Clearly, Arjun can accept that in a mature way. So, why can’t those who make such comments with the intent of trolling?
Our society seems to have more problems than the couple in question
Even if a couple, celebrity or otherwise, is perfectly happy and content with their lives, society seems to have a lot of issues with anyone doing anything non-traditional. Whether it is a couple in a live-in relationship or a divorced couple peacefully co-parenting, society seems to present bigger problems with their judgemental commentary than the couple faces themselves.
So, why don’t we try to evolve and keep an open mind, and live and let live?
Lead image credit: Instagram.com/malaikaaroraofficial, Viral Bhayani
