Have you ever been in a situation where you’ve been seeing someone for a couple of months but you’re not sure if they are completely into you? Mainly because they disappear for a long time, pop up at random hours, and are holding on to you until someone else comes along. If yes, then understand that your partner has kept you on a ‘bench’.
Bench dating, a modern day dating term, is derived primarily from the sports lingo where a player gets benched until the team runs out of the good players. In bench dating, your partner will show that he or she is interested, lead you on but never commit.
Free yourself from such relationships by trusting these signs that tell if you are on someone’s bench.
1. Frequent last-minute plans
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Impromptu plans with them seem more last minute-pity than romantic. You keep getting invited to well-established plans that seem like somebody else was a part of before you. To make matters worse, they conceal this fact to mislead you. If your partner keeps on inviting you to last-minute plans, be aware that you might be on their bench rather than in their heart.
2. Contact at odd times
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As opposed to that of committed relationships, there is never a fixed schedule of contact between you and your partner. They vanish for several hours or days together only to pop up at random times. Do yourself a favour and do not answer that call.
3. Inconsistent behaviour
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You can’t keep up with their shifts in moods and behaviours. Sometimes they act like they are super sweet on you, give you adequate attention, and on the other hand, you will find yourself restless owing to their monosyllabic responses over text. Inconsistent behaviour is one of the telltale signs that your partner could be benching you.
4. You’re constantly confused
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Mainly because they have one foot in the relationship and one foot out the door. You do not know if you are coming or going. Also, just when you decide to leave, they do something to make you stay. They do not commit, but offer enough to keep you in the picture. You find yourself constantly confused since there is no progress or peace in the relationship.
5. Your partner is secretive about you
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There is a humongous difference between keeping your relationship private and keeping it a secret. Your partner tends to incline towards the latter most of the time. Your partner refuses to be seen with you in public or does not talk about you to others at all. It’s one thing to keep your affairs private in the initial stage, but if you are still sneaking around after one year, you may be on your partner’s bench.
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