“If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they’re yours; if they don’t they never were.” American writer Richard Bach said this once. But in today’s world, waiting for your partner to come back seems like too much effort. Gone is the Ishq-Vishq era ladies, where Amrita Rao would wait silently for Shahid Kapoor to come back to her, even after all the ill-treatment meted out to her from him. Well, this doesn’t really go in our current generation, because we are a lot more practical. Which means, we’re more logical right?
However, many of us still cling to broken relationships even if they’re not working out. Here’s some honest advice to all those who hold on to long-term relationships, even when they know it’s leading nowhere: call it quits. It’s okay to break up if it’s not working out. Here’s why:
1. Your partner can’t be your source of stress
In a broken relationship, your major source of stress is none other than your partner. Your partner should be your stress buster, and not the other way round. If you and your partner are not on the same page when it comes to planning your future and career, it’s about time you give it a thought. If he doesn’t understand your ambitions and goals, tries to suppress you with how he wants you to be–you should know he’s definitely not the one for you.
2. He’s disrespectful
Any relationship that lacks respect won’t work well for any couple in the longer run. This may sound very basic, but couples often tend to overlook it. If he insults you, fights with you in public or in front of 10 other peeps–he’s waving a big-ass red flag. We all have problems and we all have issues, but it should be just between the two of you and not for the world’s entertainment. The moment any sort of verbal or physical abuse peeps in your relationship, you should run for the door immediately.
3. He threatens you
There’s no space for threats in a normal and sane relationship. So if he threatens you with a break-up every now and then, he’s not worth it. If he does that constantly, you need to move out of that relationship because after a point it leads to mental trauma. You don’t want that right? No love or relationship is worth your health and mental peace. You don’t realise but there are people who enjoy sadistic pleasure. Don’t fall into that trap of begging and pleading. If you have to beg your partner to stay with you, your need to call it quits. You shouldn’t let anyone play with your self-esteem. Not even the one who claims to love you to death.
4. When sexual desires dwindle
In the initial phase you two would crave for that magical touch, but now have either or both of you lost interest in having sex? Do you avoid getting intimate or any sort of physical touch with your partner? Well, well, well… enough hints for you to realise, it’s clearly not working out. Love, lust, and longing for your partner’s touch is timeless. Does it concern your partner as much as it concerns you? Try having an honest conversation and you will know if there are chances to reignite those sparks or you should call it quits.
5. Do you find someone else more attractive?
Hold on! Don’t feel guilty at all. It’s absolutely normal to fall out of love given the situations and circumstances, and fall for someone else. It’s not a sin. But yes, not moving out of the relationship despite feeling for someone else is wrong. Always remember, if you have given your 100% to the relationship, and still you find yourself in a space where you start liking someone else–it’s not your fault. It’s your partner who may have created that void for you that led you to feel for someone else. There’s no harm in getting out of a toxic relationship, and going ahead with that better person. People may judge you, but at times it’s good to be selfish and think about yourself.
6. Does it feel like a burden?
It’s okay! When things don’t go right in our lives, it often seems like a burden. Deep within, we all want to get out of it. A healthy relationship will never make you feel like a noose. If you have given so much to your relationship that you feel you’re left with nothing more to give–you’ve done your bit. Nothing runs on a single wheel, and neither will your relationship. That’s a strong alarm telling you, your relationship is dying bit by bit. And eventually it will perish.
7. At last, thank your partner!
Yes! Don’t be surprised at all. Thank your partner for all the bad he did to you, which actually made you realise the difference between the right and wrong. If your partner didn’t behave badly with you, you would have never got the chance to be with a better person. The one you deserve to be with. There might be the Mr Right waiting for you, but you often tend to cling on to your broken relationship in the fear of getting judged. Love and fear don’t go along well for a better future. Be with a person, who lets you grow and be yourself without asking you to change.
