The courses of Vaibhav and Parag’s lives were meant to shift significantly when they bumped into each other at a Pride parade in Washington, D.C. Little did they know that a Pride parade on marriage equality that intertwined their faiths was, in fact, for a bigger purpose.
Years later, the US-based couple would go on to prosecute the Government of India to legalise same sex marriage in the country. Here’s their remarkable story.
About Vaibhav Jain and Parag Mehta
Credits: Vaibhav Jain and Parag Mehta
Legally married in 2017, Vaibhav Jain and Parag Mehta have been together since 2012 and currently live in Virginia. In addition to being global advocates for LGBTQ+ rights, Vaibhav and Parag are fathers of two beautiful children born via surrogacy. In 2023, the couple welcomed a daughter, Parineeti, followed by a son, Vivaan.
Vaibhav, a global health expert and community organiser from New Delhi, serves as Chief of Staff for the AAPI Victory Fund, a political organisation in the United States.
Parag has spent the past 24 years working to advance justice, inclusion and human rights through political activism, public service and private sector action. He has also held senior positions in both government and the public sector, including stints in the Obama administration and at Mastercard and JPMorgan Chase & Co.
The two are plaintiffs in a landmark court case before the Supreme Court of India which seeks to legalize same-sex marriage.
From a Pride parade to the Supreme Court of India
Credits: Vaibhav Jain and Parag Mehta
Parag and Vaibhav met at a Pride parade in 2012. After dancing with each other for a few moments, Vaibhav befriended him on social media and the rest is history.
Parag said, “We met at a Pride parade in Washington, D.C. The theme was around marriage equality; so our float was a baraat with Hindi music and couples wearing sherwanis, lehengas or other outfits. Not me. It was too hot outside. So, I wore shorts and a cute t-shirt that said ‘Desi.’
Vaibhav added, “Meanwhile, I was sweltering in the hot sun. I saw Parag and yelled, ‘Oye Desi!’ He came over and danced with me. I came back home and looked him up. I mustered a lot of courage to ‘poke’ him on Facebook. He still makes fun of me for that. But I’m glad I did. After all, look where we are nearly a dozen years later.”
Parag and Vaibhav were together for almost five years before getting married in 2017. After tying the knot, the couple faced several challenges while travelling to India. After considering the major effects of the lack of rights that LGBTQ+ couples were subjected to in India, the NRI couple decided to sue the Government of India for legalising same sex marriages.
The couple said, “We travelled to India as a married couple. During that visit, we realised that we lacked a number of rights and protections that are critical for our family. For example, when my (Vaibhav) dad fell sick with COVID-19 and was hospitalised, India’s travel restrictions would only allow me to travel from the U.S. Parag was not recognized as my legal spouse and, therefore, could not accompany me.”
Parag added, “Honestly, Vaibhav and I struggled with the decision to sue the government. We knew it could put us in jeopardy, especially in the current political climate. Moreover, we worried that a high profile case like this could be dangerous for Vaibhav’s parents, who still lived in Delhi. We consulted with them and with my parents to seek approval. So in 2020, Vaibhav and I sued the Government of India for recognition of our marriage as required by the Foreign Marriage Act of 1969.”
“I am a patriot seeking justice” – Vaibhav on his fight for legalising same sex marriage
Credits: Vaibhav Jain and Parag Mehta
Vaibhav and Parag elaborated on what was the driving force for them to fight for legalisation of same sex marriages in India. From receiving messages from different queer individuals across the country to contributing to changing the legal landscape of LQBTQ rights in India, the couple made up their minds to go ahead with it.
Vaibhav said, “Complete strangers would message me in Urdu, Hindi, Bengali, Gujarati asking how they could have what I have. As much as I could counsel them on coming out, reconciling their identity with their faith and pursuing love smartly, I had nothing to offer on the question of legal rights.”
He added, “Parag once told me that, ‘When we love our country, that is called patriotism. When our country loves us back, that is called justice.’ I am a patriot seeking justice.”
Vaibhav and Parag on SC’s verdict of the legality of same-sex marriages
Credits: Vaibhav Jain and Parag Mehta
From mindless courtroom arguments to disappointing outcomes, the US-based couple opened up about their reaction and feelings about SC’s verdict on same-sex marriages. They said that even though they were disheartened, they filed for a review of the verdict. They made it clear that even if they lose or fail in the future, their fight for basic familial rights would continue.
“Look, we were devastated by the verdict. But what we have to remember is that progress doesn’t happen in a moment. It happens in a movement. That movement has been building for decades thanks to the courage and hard work of LGBTQ+ leaders throughout India. We will keep fighting – in the courtrooms, at the ballot boxes, in the halls of power and even in the streets. A great democracy like India is not perfect. But what I have learned from living abroad is that all of us Indians – no matter where we are – have a responsibility to make her more perfect. So our fight goes on. No matter what passports we carry, we are Indian. Our children, Pari and Vivaan, are Indian. And when we take them to their homeland, we want them to be recognised as children of a whole and loving family,” the couple said.
“Marriage is not appropriate for LQBT community because they do not create families” – Indian SC
Credits: Vaibhav Jain and Parag Mehta
While talking about their court case, Vaibhav and Parag recounted one of the arguments put forth by the Government of India. They said that marriage is not appropriate for same-sex couples because they do not procreate and form biological families. Defying the very argument, Vaibhav and Parag, today, stand proud with their two children – Parineeti and Vivaan. Both of them were keen on starting a family. But the process turned out to be more time-consuming as compared to heterosexual couples.
Two years after starting the process, the couple became parents in 2023 — “We became dads to two amazing human beings via surrogacy. Our daughter Parineeti was born in March 2023. 10 weeks later, our son Vivaan was born. Pari and Vivaan share a common egg donor. So, they are biological siblings. One shares DNA with me and the other with Vaibhav. I like to think that marriage connected me to Vaibhav by law. These kids have connected us by blood,” they said.
Vaibhav and Parag on ‘Free Love’
Credits: Vaibhav Jain and Parag Mehta
Having been together for more than a decade, Vaibhav and Parag have witnessed everything. Fighting to normalise their realities, the couple let us in on how they have created a support system for each other and how their relationship truly defines ‘Free Love’.
They said, “I think Parag and I provide a safe haven for one another. No matter what goes on outside our relationship, we have each other and every day that we are together is further validation that our love, our relationship is valuable. We can tell each other anything – absolutely anything – without fear of being mocked or judged or misunderstood. As gay people, we spend so much of our lives worrying about how others will perceive or treat us. So, the most liberating thing of all is being in a relationship where we are fully seen, heard and accepted exactly as we are.”
Social and lead images credits: Vaibhav Jain and Parag Mehta
