There is a popular quote on friendship that I repeat often, “Good friends make good times better and hard times easier.”
It is natural to get worn out by your day-to-day life, going through mundane tasks and maintaining jobs and balancing out family and social obligations. But it is those few friends who make everything okay in our chaotic lives.
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Not all of us are lucky enough to be born into supportive and loving families. This is where “best” friends come in as a healthier substitute for the lack of strong foundational relationships. We make several friends throughout our lives and leave many of them behind with time. No friendship is lesser or greater than the other, it is their ability to adapt with changing circumstances that make them last however long they do.
Here are some ways you can build a friendship that will last for a lifetime and survive all the ups and downs of life:
1. You will have to take out time and invest in them
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It is great when you have low-maintenance friendships, but these are the ones that you tend to take for granted and lose out on in the long run. Not staying in touch, not trying to meet up, not sharing your life with, and not touching base regularly is the downfall of any and all relationships. Even if you have zero expectations from a friend, you cannot impose your ideas of this relationship on them. Take into account their needs and demands and incorporate them into your life.
2. Show up for them
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In short, you must appreciate your friend. Whether it is a fundraiser they are hosting, a venture they are excited about, an art show they are showcasing at, a post on social media talking about their achievements – always show up for your friend. Make them feel loved and check in on them to see if they are happy with the general response. This will cut you out from the rest and they will be able to share their feelings and aspirations with you.
3. It is okay to fight
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Being in close proximity to a person will obviously have its perils. Here it is about clashing personalities and interests. We can always try to adjust a friend’s likes and dislikes in our life, but we cannot shed our own to accommodate them. Whatever argument or fight arises out of this miscommunication is a part and parcel of life. Learn to argue in the moment, never go back in history, stick to the present, and give time to heal. Once all of this passes, you both will come back stronger.
4. Give space for other relationships
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Your bestie will find another friend and they will love them. That would make you feel jealous too. But don’t let this get between you and your friend. Nobody is anybody’s replacement. Everyone has their own place and that is the beauty of human relationships. Try and accept their friendships and relationships, and try to accommodate them as well. After all – more the merrier!
5. If they want time off – give it to them
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Even the most perfect friendship can get too much or take too much space. If not you, your friend could one day ask for a break. Don’t feel heartbroken if the calls stop and the regular meet-ups die down. Life is an evolving playground, someday your favourite swing will be torn down because it is too old and non-functional. Either you will get a new swing or a completely different slide. If you attach yourself to the swing that no longer exists, you will not be able to enjoy the brand new addition you have.
Friends might leave, or come back renewed; but it is not your place to hold them down and keep them from changing. Be accepting in any and all relationships and you will see that they will stick by you for a lifetime.
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