Sex is the life and blood of a healthy marriage. Physical affection is like a glue that helps keep a strong intimacy in a marriage. Underestimating the role of sex in a marriage will only lead to undesirable consequences like distance, resentment and lack of intimacy. Being handsy, physically flirtatious and playful with your spouse can help keep your marriage lively and blissful. But at times we don’t account for the circumstances when sex takes a back seat and reality sets in in a marriage.
There will be times when sex would be the last thing on your and your partner’s minds. It’s acceptable if it happens once in a while. But regularly skipping out on sex is a one-step way to end up in an unhappy and sexless marriage. If your marriage has any of the or all of the following signs, it’s time to take action.
7 Signs of a poor sex life after marriage
1. Sex feels like a chore
If having sexstarts feeling like another task to check off of your to-do list, your marriageis in trouble. Sex is supposed to be the ‘me-time’ for you and your spousewherein you must shut off the rest of the world and simply enjoy each other’s presence.
If you feel the need to ‘get it over with’ or put a timer on it, you are looking at sex like a chore. It must come to you naturally and not be rushed.
2. You don’t talk about it
You as well as your partner know that your sex life has declinedin quality and quantity. But neither one of you takes the initiative to initiate a conversation about the state of your sex lifeand marriage. You are simply going with the flow, trying to make the best of the situation.
A lacklustre sex lifeis a potential threat in a marriage. Not addressing it on time will only lead to its further decline.
3. It’s always one person who initiates sex
It’s either you or your partner who initiates sex. The amount of effort needed to have a great sex life is completely absent from one end. It’s always the one person who is bringing up conversation and trying to heat things up in the bedroom.
Such a situation needs to be remedied as soon as possible. Try to communicate the reason behind your or your partner’s lack of interest in sexand what can be done to fix it.
4. When you hear the word ‘sex’, you only think about penetration
Sex is a melodious union of two sacred energies that are rife with love, passion, and desire. Sex does not equal ‘plug in, play and plug out’. If you harbour this mindset, sex will feel nothing more than a tedious task that must be finished as early as possible.
View sex as a medium to express love for your partner. Experiment and try newer things in bed to keep things interesting.
5. You can’t remember the last time you did it
This is a blazing red flag! If you have to think hard about when was the last time you did the deed, you are probably not doing it frequently. It’s true that not every married couple has sex every day.
But long gaps between two times is not a favourable sign for your marriage. It is an indication of fading desirethat could get worse with time.
6. It feels monotonous every time you do it
Lack of initiative, interest and desire to experiment in bed can make your sex life monotonous and tedious. Sex must not feel like a chore. It should be something that you look forward to.
Trying new things and discovering what you and your partnerlike in bed can be the first step to break the monotony of sex.
7. You find excuses to skip out on sex
Finding excuses to skip out on sexcould be rooted in a deeper physiological or psychological reason. Finding that reason is the first step to address this problem. The worst thing you can do in such situations is not addressing your low libidoand simply go on lying to your partner about your lack of sexual desires.
Instead of looking for excuses to skip out on sex, sit down with your partner and try to remedy this situation.
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