Kavita Baluni and Himanshu Kaktwan are an ordinary couple, with extraordinary compassion. Three years ago, when the Delhi-based duo adopted a baby girl with Down Syndrome, they became the first and only couple in India to do so. When we asked Kavita what led them to take such a step, given the potential heartache and struggle involved, she said: “I never understood the concept and logic of having biological kids, when there are so many children out there who need parenting, love, and a home.” Kavita then told us, that she had shared this same thought with Himanshu during their courtship, and as fate would have it, he too was of the same opinion. Today, these game changers in society live happily with their beautiful daughter Veda. Here’s their story…
Was it easy for them? Of course not! Our country is yet to warm up to the idea of adoption, so choosing to raise a child who isn’t of the same bloodline, let alone is differently abled, would obviously mean pushing the envelope. Kavita added, “Adopting a girl child was always on my mind, but I could never muster the courage to discuss it with anyone. I always find it ironic that generally, in our society, people are busy raising their kids… but only a few are concerned about those who do not even have a family to look after them. It was certainly a tough decision, as our families were not at all in support of adoption, so special need adoption was totally out of their consideration, and scope of comprehension.”
Further speaking about how they went through with this idea, Kavita shared: “Adoption was always on our minds, but picking a child with different needs was never the criteria. We were in the US when we first heard the term “Down Syndrome” (DS) and since then everything changed. We started exploring the term on the web, and also watched a ton of videos about it. As we got more and more into it, it truly inspired us to adopt a baby with DS. We couldn’t find any reason not to! Of course, the decision wasn’t easy as we couldn’t adopt the child from the US, given that we were not US citizens… so after discussing it for months, we decided to move back to India and go for it!”
We then asked Kavita to describe the moment she first laid eyes on little Veda. With heart-tugging emotions, she revealed: “After registering ourselves at CARA (Central Adoption Resource Authority) and getting our home study done, I started looking through the disability section, instead of waiting for referrals. There is no waiting time for kids with special needs. That’s when I came across 15-month-old Veda and contacted the agency for her latest pictures. Her pictures made me cry… I instantly knew she was the one! After going through the photos, we decided that she’s our daughter. A day after going through her profile, we reserved her, and within a week, we were all set to travel to Bhopal from Delhi to meet her.” When Kavita and Himanshu first saw Veda in person on the 20th of May 2017, her tiny frame, her gorgeous smile, and her beautiful eyes filled their hearts with unimaginable joy.
As you can imagine, from that day itself, the couple’s life changed and how! Were there apprehensions and mind-boggling moments in the beginning? Quite a few, but Veda warmed up to them much sooner than they had imagined. “After picking her up from Bhopal, we had to travel back via train. Obviously, we were really scared and worried about how she’d react or manage during the 10-hour-long journey with complete strangers. We were expecting her to take a long time to adjust with us. We understood that she had her own past and that we had to act accordingly. She surprised us with the unconditional love and acceptance from the day one,” Kavita said.
Veda had now become a part of Kavita and Himanshu’s world, and step-by-step they progressed–as a family, and individually. Pouring her heart out, Kavita expressed: “Veda has changed my whole perspective on life. She has filled our lives with immense love and has taught us how to enjoy every bit and piece of our existence. Life is a precious gift, and my daughter has taught me how the basics are much more important than the materialistic endeavours we tend to focus on. She has slowed us down and taught us to stop and smell the flowers. I have learned acceptance and unconditional love from her. She has made me much more empathetic. She has shown me how being different is perfectly fine. It’s okay to be different, it’s okay to not fit into any box. Different is beautiful.”
Talking about how the TLC they shower her with has helped her go from strength-to-strength, Kavita added, “From the very first day, Veda started bonding with us… especially her father. She’s totally a daddy’s girl! It took her quite some time to get attached to me, as she was really scared of women initially. Though she always trusted me, the attachment took the time. This generally happens when you are raising a baby who has gone through pain and childhood trauma. Our whole world revolves around Veda, now. We have her physiotherapy two to three times a week, and I take care of her occupational therapies, speech, and fine-motor activities etc. We spend a lot of time together, just playing around and helping her build confidence.”
Kavita and Himanshu believe in the saying that “Adoption is not about finding children for families, it’s about finding families for children.” They are clear that they do not want any sympathetic nods or claps, because according to them, adopting Veda isn’t a noble deed, or call to charity. For the couple, it was simply enabling a baby to have a fair chance at life and a family.
Signing off, Kavita smiled and said: “It’s a blessing for me to be her mother, as every day there are new learnings. She awakened so much inner strength in me, which I never knew I had. I may fail every now and then, but it’s the attitude I see in her, that helps me to rise again. I love her for who she is, I accept and embrace her abilities, and we work together on her shortcomings. I celebrate her for all that she is, instead of thinking about what she could have been. Celebrating our differences is the beauty of being a mother to my Veda.”
If you want updates on how this beautiful family progresses every day, hit follow on Kavita’s Instagram handle, where her feed is sure to inspire you!
If you have an inspiring story that you’d like the world to know, write to us at social.idiva@timesinternet.in.
