Did you get a panic attack when you found out your partner is still on talking terms with his ex? No matter how much you try to resist it–but that little sense of insecurity and jealousy always creeps in. It’s natural! We may be living in the age of progressive minds and relationships, but deep within–your partner’s ex-flame bothers you. But before you start questioning your partner’s loyalty, here are a few things you need to keep in mind:
1. We all have a past
First things first, both of you have a past. So, you need to accept your partner’s ex gracefully and take the relationship ahead from there. However, it’s also human to feel jealous whenever he mentions his ex in the middle of a conversation. No matter how mature you are as a person, it pricks. Now, you can either sit and mourn over it for days, or be practical enough to take it all in good humour.
2. There’s no need to be insecure
It’s natural to feel a tad insecure whenever there’s a mention of your partner’s ex. Or when a message or picture pops up out of the blue. It can be a little unnerving, but that’s okay! However, if you feel there are any residual emotions left between your partner and your ex which are still unresolved, address your concerns to your partner and don’t be submissive. Being submissive will fuel your insecurities. Also, pinpoint the gestures that make you feel insecure–without turning the conversation into an argument.
3. You have got to trust your partner
Trust your partner, that must be your first instinct. More than anything else, trust your relationship. You have invested a lot into it and trust is the base. If you constantly keep thinking about the negative, it will affect you in ways more than you can imagine. You will end up doubting your partner’s emotions for you over every small gesture. At the end of the day, you don’t want to be the controlling partner.
4. People grow, they mature
No feeling is permanent. Feelings are bound to change, and with time they do. The sooner we accept it, the better we mature as a person. Your partner had broken up with his ex for a reason and now he is with you, again for a reason. Look on the brighter side–he has found something in you, which he didn’t in his previous relationship. Two exes reconciling, leaving their current partners behind, is a rare occurrence. So don’t stress yourself over it.
5. It’s okay to be friends with an ex, with your limits in check
It’s okay to be friends with your ex, but rules apply. Which means discussing any sexual desires or moments you have shared in the past is off the table. Also, if your partner’s ex is still very much in love with your partner, and your partner is well aware of it–or vice-versa–then it’s a concern for you. If they are genuinely just good friends without being a threat to your relationship, you shouldn’t make a big deal out of it.
