If you’re dating someone who is a ‘mama’s boy’, he’s probably the kind of guy who’s got his mummy dearest on speed dial in case of an emergency… Or, in case he needs her opinion on which shirt suits him better, what haircut he should get, a recipe, to know if it’s okay to shower when you cough, to wish good morning, good afternoon and goodnight to and everything else in between.
While it may seem like the cutest thing in the beginning of a relationship, ladies, let’s be honest — in all probability, this is exactly the prototype who will get on your very last nerves, as you find yourself forced to plan and plot ways to breakup, without hurting his delicate feelings.
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When a man is close to his mom and obviously loves her and doesn’t hold back from showing it, it’s great! However, when it’s an enmeshed relationship wherein your partner can’t seem to function without his mom’s approval or go-ahead, it’s bound to drive you nuts at some point.
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R. Alford, senior counselor at 1to1Help.net in Bangalore, shared: “Most women prefer a life partner who is solid and independent. While being deeply emotional towards a parent is a good thing, the problem arises when there’s complete emotional dependency, almost like an obsession. Once those people engage in a romance, or a relationship of sorts, their partners are bound to be irritated by constant ‘mama’s boy’ talk. Sometimes, they are likely to develop insecurities and feel like their partners don’t trust them enough, or that they are not good enough. It can get a bit complicated.”
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Now, let’s reiterate–we’re not saying that mama’s boys aren’t good men; we’re simply trying to brace you for what is most likely to be in store for you, should you get into a relationship with a hardcore “mother lover”. Wondering what to expect? Well, to put it mildly–comparisons like, “It tastes good, but my mom would make it differently… she knows exactly how I like it!” or you being on the back burner: “I’m sorry, I know you wanted to go watch that film on Sunday, but I promised mom I’d take her shopping!” Sometimes, be prepared for “I love mom” talk even after he’s five pegs down, when all you want to do is have a good time.
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Alford added, “An important and difficult adjustment that both partners need to make, once they decide they want to spend their lives together, is that of detachment from their parents and to begin independent decision-making based on mutual communication. Those who are ‘mama’s boys’ find this very hard to accept, and more often than not, this need to put their mothers on a pedestal is used as an emotional umbrella to protect them from having to take responsibility, or make independent decisions that may not be in line with what their mother deems right.”
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As uncomfortable a truth it may be for some, the relationship between a mother and son directly affects a romantic relationship that the man in question is having. Whether it’s the way he handles certain situations (or in some cases, doesn’t!) or the way he helps to manage the household–his equation with him mom does play a role somewhere down the line. While dating or marrying a person who deeply loves his mother BUT manages to strike a balance in relationships is ideally what most women wish to find. Being wary of the guys who can’t do without their moms kissing their “boo-boos” is advisable. They’re the same ones who come across as everything you wish for in the beginning–soft, sensitive, and respectful.
Lead Image credit: Via TOI and IMDB
