Rakshabandhan, or Rakhi, is primarily seen as a festival celebrating the protection a brother lends to a sister. But, amidst this glorification of male protectionism, the fact that a lot of sisters, too, protect their brothers gets lost.
In truth, being an older sister often results in women shouldering a quasi-parental responsibility towards their little brothers, be it due to the way women are socialised to behave, or simply out of a protective instinct towards their younger siblings. This is something that almost never gets acknowledged by society.
Older sisters walk so their little brothers can run
© Pooja Entertainment, T-Series, Legend Studios Pvt. Ltd
Being the eldest sibling in a desi family is no joke, as the memelords have extensively documented. The eldest kid is the parents’ first tryst with parenting. All the strict rules about studying, all the teenage drama with the opposite sex, the anxiety about going to college and choosing a career – parents experience it first with the eldest, and deal with it very differently with their younger children subsequently.
© Aamir Khan Productions, PVR Pictures
So, those curfews that older sisters fight to get pushed, the arguments that older sisters have about following their dreams, and the first boy that older sisters meekly introduce – those pave the way for their little brothers to be able to live their lives more freely.
It’s the big ‘didis’ who protect their little brothers from the same drama they saw
© The Culture Company, UTV Motion Pictures
As much as siblings fight between themselves, the instinct to fight anyone else who tries to fight their little brothers is pretty strong in older sisters. After all, there are so many older sisters who intervene when parents are too harsh on their little brothers, and so many who remind parents to be cognisant of their siblings’ mental health, having gone through the same themselves.
© Excel Entertainment, Junglee Pictures, Eros International
On a lighter note, it’s the didis who sneak them chocolates when they’re little, and the didis change the topic when nosy relatives inquire about their girlfriends. It’s the didis who remind parents that their little brothers are not careless babies and should be trusted as responsible adults. It’s the didis who tell parents that they should also teach their sons the same homemaking skills the daughters are taught.
Rakhi celebrations should also acknowledge that, instead of just focusing on brothers protecting their sisters.
People forget that women can protect men as much as men can protect women
© Sohail Khan Productions, Eros International
The love and care siblings have for each other isn’t about gender. Seeing a little baby being brought into your home, and witnessing that baby grow up with you, makes you want to take care of them and be there for them, no matter who’s a man or a woman between the two of you.
In fact, older sisters protect their little sisters. Little sisters also protect their older brothers and sisters. But somehow, the idea that only brothers protect sisters persists. While that may also be true, we should remember to celebrate these protective sisters, too!
Lead image credit: Excel Entertainment, Junglee Pictures, Eros International, Pooja Entertainment, T-Series, Legend Studios Pvt. Ltd
