Let’s begin with one huge dollop of mush. John Green wrote, “Some infinities are larger than other infinities.” That doesn’t mean that they may necessarily have more of everything – love, commitment, connection, passion, joy. Sometimes, love meets us on its way to its expiry date and just as we begin to relish it, it’s time to let go. However, what is imperative to realize is that the strength of a relationship should not be measured by its ‘duration’. You could be married to someone for 6 years and feel nothing; you can be seeing someone for 6 months, and feel everything.
It is every quintessential Indian parent’s dream to see their daughter marry the first guy she had any (even borderline) romantic inclination towards, and head speedily towards a happily-ever-after, with babies and the works. But there are some special connections we create along the way, that may not be explainable in so many words, but possess the power to fearlessly go against the winds. Our parents might have at some point, had similar experiences too, but not everyone is able to talk about what matters and what hurts. Especially when those two are the same thing.
Often, life introduces us to a person whose role is essentially to awaken something within us. Individuals that mirror illustrating things in us, things that we need to see, but can’t, on our own. In such cases, the time frame of such a connection will always be irrelevant. Why? Because the part of us that needs awakening, goes backwards, much beyond the start of that particular relationship. It can only be traced through the lengths and depths of our own years gone by – sometimes, further back than we will ever be able to see. So it’s safe (and luckily, comforting) to say that feeling a sense of loss and bewilderment when these connections are lost, is as absurd as to be shaken and stirred at the literal loss of a part of yourself.
The pain we feel when a short-lived yet deep romance expires, is because subconsciously, we are trained by societal beliefs, that the minute we are confronted by intimacy, or a person who ignites an amorous nature in us, it’s meant to lead somewhere big – to somewhere permanent. We fear – if it isn’t permanent, it isn’t real or solid enough. We recognize that every moment – big or small, in a relationship, is absolute; but we fail to understand, that what we do or can take away from it is always endless.
Stop believing, that the one that got away, was the one you should’ve or could’ve married. That was a whole lifetime within a number of days. Respect the love that held it together and take it forward with you, into a brand new tomorrow.
