When a person says they are fine with their partner being too busy to give them attention, they usually don’t actually mean it. Any and all relationships are built on three things: trust, compatibility and the third point being— time.
Not just time to get to know each other, or time to build on the relationship, but the time given to each other.
Metro rides were the learning lessons I didn’t know I needed
I did not know this or had simply refused to see the power of time and attention in the space of a relationship. Almost nine months ago, I had set foot on a metro for the first time. Apart from the initial horrors of rush hour and innumerable hours spent watching women gorge on food under the sign which read “Eating and Drinking not allowed” and checking out outfits of women, my ears fell upon their telephonic conversations.
This is downright eavesdropping and I am guilty as charged, however in my defence— those women didn’t care two hoots about keeping their conversations private. They fought over the phone about a picture the other person in the phone liked, or being late, not informing them beforehand about a change in plan, almost all the time the conversation was with a partner.
How come everyone is always complaining about never getting enough time from their partner?
I am not assuming, those women ended up questioning the loyalty of their boyfriend, blaming their parents for holding them back from dating, or questioning the entire relationship. What was at the core of all those shouting matches was indifferent partners who did not give time or importance to the relationship as much as the woman did.
The other side would only be known by the general compartment where the man would’ve kept his half of the argument, but my point here is the dying romance of the 21st century sadly compensated by the excuses of a busy and hectic lifestyle.
Being a present partner or a couple who is able to balance life, work, family and love, are the ones enjoying healthy relationships with everyone in their life. It does have a lot to do with emotional availability as well. People who are able to take out time for everything and not make a fuss about a single date are generally people who value others’ time and commitment as well.
Emotionally available partners are able to strike the balance
Being present is the least one can do for the person they have made promises of love and companionship to. Even if you’re taking out an hour to see your boyfriend/girlfriend, be present. Keep your phone away, listen to them, retain little pieces of information, give sound advice, be intimate, hold their hand and kiss them. When away, don’t ignore them. If you cannot answer their phone drop a text to tell them you will call them back. Stay updated on their life– they won’t be able to share anything with you if they have to start from the beginning.
These are actually the small things people talk about. This is not the grand 10K worth of presents that would floor them. Your presence and love are the biggest gifts. Hopefully the metro ladies are able to come to an understanding with their partners and be happy, because if I encounter another shouting-match and I will give them free relationship counselling.
LEAD & image Courtesy: Viral Bhayani & Unsplash
