There is absolutely no relationship in this world that is easy. Parents and their children, lovers, husbands and wives, siblings, co-workers, and even best friends have trouble in paradise.
The key here is to address the issues at hand and not push them under the rug. Especially with friendships, which are easy to cut off, one must put in the extra effort to nurture them. But everything aside, do friendships too come with their own set of troubles and insecurities?
We asked seven women on what issues plague their friendships and whether insecurities exist amongst best friends or not, and here’s what they had to say:
1. Friends talking behind my back have made me insecure in friendships
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“My own self-hate, I guess. I have had other friends secretly talk behind my back in the past so I constantly suspect my best friend does it too (because no one could actually love me) and secretly hates me.”
-Stuti
2. I don’t ever feel insecure in my friendships
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“I am blessed with some amazing friends who’ve been with me for over 20 years and a few that I’ve warmed up to only recently but feel like family now. (Not bragging!) I don’t think I’ve ever felt insecure in my friendships at all, just pangs of jealousy here and there if I see two of my closest friends hanging out without me or whenever I feel excluded from an important conversation. But I think that’s it.”
-Gariyashi
3. A little jealous here and there, but nothing more than that
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“I think it’s mostly jealousy peppered here and there. I have two best friends and together we form a trio of sorts so when there are plans or conversations where I am not around, it kicks in.”
-Srijoni
4. What if they replace me?
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“None of my friends live in Delhi. Zero. When all of them moved away for higher studies and I started working, I initially felt that they’ll make new friend groups and forget about me, and I wasn’t too keen on making work friends. I knew that it was inevitable, but I still hated it. But I’m a very closed off person, so it’s natural that they’ll take to people who open up to them naturally, without having to perform an exorcism to get them to talk about feelings.
But I still feel jealous if they tell me that the person they’re friends with is super smart or talented or well-read. Then I just feel like they’re deriving more out of those friendships than anything I could ever offer. I don’t know if that makes sense, but I just want to be the friend they turn to for complex life advice and stuff (or book recommendations).”
-Manya
5. My best friends vacationing together without me bothers me but is short-lived
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“I’m not really insecure when it comes to my friendship with my three best friends. Yes, sometimes jealousy does creep in when I see Maldives vacation pictures or of them backpacking in Europe, but it is really short-lived, and there’s nothing I would not do for my friends.”
-Karen
6. I’ve cut out friends who talk behind each others backs
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“In the past I’ve been ‘friends’ with people who I realised were far more judgemental of each others’ actions than necessary, so I was never fully at ease around them. I would often wonder what would be said about me if I left the room (seeing how they did this with each other too). And now I’ve shed that flab and only surround myself with people I’m 100% comfortable and secure with. If I encounter someone who isn’t this way, I never let things go beyond initial niceties.”
-Rea
7. I have only kept friendships without filters in the past few years
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“To be honest, I never felt insecure but yes, my friend list has become shorter over the past few years. From a group of 12 to a group of 5, and it was a good learning experience for me. I stopped pleasing people and stood up for what’s right. At times, at the cost of being hated for it. Thankfully, now I am only surrounded by the ones who stuck it out for decades without any judgments. The ones I know are honest and will never badmouth me behind my back. Friendships without filters.”
-Anannya
Turns out even friendships can make you insecure and jealous, but don’t let this dishearten you. Each and every problem is solvable, as long as you are willing to identify the issues and put in the effort.
Lead Image Credit: Queen/Anurag Kashyap
Social Image Credit: 4 More Shots Please/Amazon Prime Video
