Today’s world is all about sliding into DMs, Insta-sharing, and keeping up with the newest episode of Koffee With Karan—yeh nahi dekha toh kya dekha? Be it keeping up your relationship with BAE or spending your last 30 minutes before sleeping–most of our day-to-day is on our phones. Don’t deny it–even if it is so goddam annoying when someone else does it.
Naturally, a lot of it depends on the way you communicate with the world. If YoU tYpE lYk Dis, ain’t nobody going to take you seriously. Being articulate is the new sexy–and you better hop onto to the bandwagon kids. Since online behaviour is key, there are a lot of situations where you can really feel the heat of it. Texting BAE for example.
Imagine you’re talking to your favourite Tinder boy, and you can feel the conversation slipping. How supremely annoying is that? We’ve all been there and done that, but it’s time to learn some hacks to keep the aag burning like a forest fire.
Please note that these tricks apply to all potential, new and old BAEs. The reaction may vary in a few cases–but if you still want to feel tingly inside when his name pops up on your screen, these tricks are your gold mine.
1. The disappearing act
No, it does not literally mean you get to ghost on your man. We’re talking about the subtle art of being MIA for a little while. This situation can be best explained when you get a text saying WYD (what you doing for all the people who are SMS lingo-challenged). Instead of immediately replying like an enthu-cutlet, let BAE marinate in his own bowl of desperation. Sure it sounds petty, but come online a few times so that he knows you have other texts to reply to. If it’s hard to understand, flip the situation and put yourself in your SO’s shoes. Would you like someone who was always available, replying to your texts in under 30 seconds? We thought so too.
2. Picture perfect
It’s cute to exchange pictures–especially as a way of letting others know how you see things. This includes maybe a cool poster you saw on the way to work or just a quote that made you feel some a certain way– it makes the conversation more visual and honestly, way more interesting. Do it randomly to get maximum impact. Hitting your boy with an outfit picture saying ‘your thoughts?’ is the equivalent of seeing Deepika Padukone slay in a Sabyasachi lehenga, rather than read pages and pages about it. Get the drift?
3. Go deep
To cut out the typical “what are you doing, what’s going on” type banter which kills chemistry right in the gut–start a new conversation about something that genuinely interests you. Since you’re texting anyway, there are a lot of new things to talk about, rather than indulging the dismal details of your everyday life. It could be about your favourite artist, a band that you’re hooked to, or even Trump’s presidential blunders for the heck of it—all of it builds foundation blocks of a stable and rounded relationship.
4. Don’t skip the update
No, we aren’t talking about the software update window that has probs popped up on your laptop 3 million times before. We’re talking profile pictures. Admit it or not, your profile picture is a shining beacon of how you are shown to random people who don’t know you like BAE’s BFFs, BAE’s parents, and BAE himself. Since most conversations are over WhatsApp and we barely take effort on that end–your DP has probably been the same for the past 33 years you’ve been on it. Which is a tad bit B-O-R-I-N-G. Updating your picture can seem so absolutely pointless, but when babe texts you saying ‘omg what is this gorgeousness’, you can send us the screenshots.
5. One or multiple?
This one is the classic debate. There is one group of people who will send 10 messages individually; and then there are another group of people who will take all of it and put it into one big para. TBH, different situations call for different methods. If you’re trying to resolve a tiff, one big para is always preferred. It doesn’t make your phone vibrate like an old Nokia handset, and you can make your point with equal authority. But if it is something urgent like you need BAE to order the correct dish and not eff up like last time–double texts within the minute are acceptable. Actually triple text him, we need those fries he forgot to order the last time.
6. Emoji or emo-no?
Emojis can be your go-to guidebook when you’re feeling thirsty, because they’re a great way to flirt. A P-faced smiley at the end of a text can literally change the tone with one alphabet. There are a lot of things that just look better in emoji format than having to spell it out. Don’t go overboard though—10 hearts at the end of a message followed by 34 unicorns will only make you seem more of the obsessed freak that you don’t want to become. Thank u, next.
7. GIF me up
Another great alternative to emojis is gifs. They’ve been incorporated into both WhatsApp and Instagram, so you cannot say that you don’t know how they work. Unless you’re living under a proverbial rock. GIFs are best when you want to say something, but you also don’t want to say It directly. For example, you want to meet this cutie you’ve been talking to, but you also want him to ask on his own. A GIF is your textual knight in embedded armour—just find one with something mildly flirty and send it. The plan will be made faster than you finish cooking your Maggi.
