It is an insecure world, with commitment phobes calling their behaviour cool and convenient. If you are lucky enough to have found ‘true love’ in such times, you must learn how to retain it.
Retaining it doesn’t mean, laying yourself out for your partner. It starts from you, if you are happy and content, you will attract a happy and content partner. Fights, arguments and disagreements are part and parcel of relationships, not letting them become focus is what will make this a long term relationship.
Here are 6 things that you need to imbibe in yourself and your relationship to make it last for a lifetime:
1. Be secure and self sufficient- It is important to love yourself first, before asking for it
You might have heard this numerable times before, but it is as important as the number of times you hear about it. If you are secure in yourself, can take care of your own needs and emotions, you will be able to cultivate a healthy relationship. This is the basis of a long lasting relationship. If every fight sends you spiraling down or you become emotionally vulnerable, you will always be insecure of your relationship’s longevity.
2. Great to love your partner, not great to lose yourself in them
It is such an amazing feeling to try everything your partner loves. But don’t lose yourself in their likes and dislikes. They are an individual and so are you, as long as both of you maintain your individuality, the two of you will stay happy in a space co-shared.
3. Take ownership of your own mess. Your partner can be the trigger, not the issue
Identify your insecurities, whether it is jealousy, fear of missing out, or feeling ignored, and also identify your triggers, like not being acknowledged on social media, not holding hands in public or others. Try and differentiate between the two and don’t mix them up when you feel either of them. Take responsibility for your feelings and communicate your issues with your partner. Don’t unload on them when they don’t know what hit them.
4. Be ‘like’ an open book, not an actual open book
It is a utopian idea to be fully open to your significant other. It is not ideal to shed all your layers and be left vulnerable in any kind of interaction, especially if you are not sure where this will be in the next five years. After all, at the end of the day all relationships are power plays. Communicate, don’t block yourself off, trust and be trustworthy, just don’t reveal too much, too soon.
5. Don’t dictate to them
If you are dictating to them, about everything that bothers you, then the problem is you. You have chosen the wrong person for yourself. They don’t have to change their clothing, their eating habits, the way they walk, they way they interact with your friends and family, if you do not want to change anything in you. Don’t stifle them to a point that they feel they are not worthy enough. This is not a sign of a healthy relationship.
6. You can’t explain love, so try and show it with unconditional support, and care
What is love? Your unconditional adoration for someone else? Your need to be with them all the time? Or never wanting to see them fall down in life? There is no one answer to it. Make your love about giving, and caring, and supporting your partner. If you will be their rock, they will always come to you for help, advice and support. This is what is the mark of a long term relationship.
Lead Image Credit: Zee Cine Awards
