Relationships are usually a lot of hard work. There are a bunch of things that come naturally, but a few need effort to establish. The bottom line is its all okay in the name of love. That however doesn’t mean that your partner is entitled to knowing every tiny thing about you.
Love is love, and that is easy to use as a justification. But does he really need to know about the time you had sex with your ex in the back of an alleyway three years ago? Not really. This rule, however, doesn’t apply to when you’re in the initial dating phase–like when you are still figuring out whether it is even a relationship or not. That’s mostly because if you conceal major parts of your personality while laying the foundation blocks, things can be problematic–and trust us, you don’t want that.
There are however small bits of information that can cause unnecessary friction and even plant seeds of unwanted jealousy. Although it might seem like a big thing to keep secrets from bae, it’s not okay to keep major life events away because they are toxic for the relationship. So take the high road when it comes to the following topics, because you’re the one who will end up going to sleep angry.
1. Your sex number
There is a lot of judgment that comes in when you start talking sex. That too about your ex, and the number of times you perhaps had a fling. Once the number is revealed, from both ends, it becomes a full topic of conversation going into the minute details which let’s face it, is not the best information you can have on the top of your head. It puts a visual which is hard to shake off and it makes your sexy time a little less sexy. Avoid at all costs.
2. The ex talk
While it’s natural to talk about your exes in the course of the relationship, it is a whole other ball game to discuss what exactly went wrong, how much and what kind of sex you’ve had with them, along with the freaky things that were probs special with only them. It puts an unnecessary comparison meter in place, if things become even a tiny bit different and a lot of baggage gets attached to it.
3. Crush it out
Even in a healthy relationship, you can develop a crush–it’s not the biggest issue that can come up. While acting on it is a complete no-no, it’s okay to find someone attractive from afar. This sitch can come up in the office, the gym, or wherever you frequent–and can eff with your thought-process. But as long as it’s a tiny little crush, it doesn’t matter. But you don’t need to supply your bae with this information, because it can mean game over. He is undoubtedly going to overthink it, and make it a bigger deal than it is and there’s no way to justify it.
4. Fantastic fantasies
If it’s with bae, then go ahead–shout it out from the rooftop. But if you do have a fantasy with someone else–say a crush you had before you met your current SO or a random celebrity–it doesn’t need the same advertisement. Keep it in your pants with this one because sex can get murky with extra details.
5. Reckless in love
Your past can be the death of your relationship. You could have done a bunch of things in love with an ex, but that doesn’t mean that’s all you. Like the fact that you stalked your ex consistently for a month after you broke up, or the fact that you had a nasty fight that ended in a broken mirror–you don’t need to give that much out. You are different with different people and all that craziness can be reserved for another time.
6. Your every movement
A relationship is cute if you guys can communicate with each other–textually and otherwise; but knowing every second of where each of you are is such a buzzkill. It takes the mystery out of so many things and gradually the romance too. There are times when you need to get some space to be your own person.
