Parents are the best (and sometimes the worst) thing to happen to individuals. They love you, they care for you and they nurture you well into your adulthood.
But then, that same set of parents who want the world for you, refuse to see the kind of world you desire. They can sometimes become overbearing and controlling. Without any fault of their own, parents sometimes become the silent enemies of their children.
Each relationship needs space and air to breathe and stay alive. This applies even to parenting. Knowing where to stop and where to let go is the key to happy and successful children who love and respect you.
Here are the accounts of 6 adult women and their take on living with parents, anonymously:
1. “My parents like their peace”
Image credit: Giphy, Modern Family
My parents are used to the peace and quiet of an empty house. So when we (sister and I) are around and being loud, playing our music, etc, it pisses my parents off. Being very mindful of your volume is the most difficult part of sharing a house with my parents.
2. “They get too controlling”
Image credit: Imgur, SNL
I think after a certain age, it becomes a little annoying cause they still think you’re kids so they tell you how to dress, to not go out so much, to not talk on the phone, etc. Like my mom still tells me to change if she doesn’t like what I am wearing and I am like… um I am 25…
3. “I can see how ill-prepared I am to live on my own”
Image credit: Giphy, Wedding Crashers
If you’re a full-blown adult like me, living with your parents can make you very, very aware of how ill-prepared you might be to manage things on your own. I love being around my parents, they don’t treat me like a kid, respect my choices and all that, but it’s hard seeing my friends be way more independent than I am.
4. “My husband I moved back in with my parents–kind of a unique situation”
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So I am in a unique situation. I have lived with my parents ever since I had my kid. Since they live in central Bombay which is close to work, my husband and I don’t have to take the bone-crushing (and soul-crushing) trains to get to work and also, in turn, we get to spend more time with kiddo, being some benefits of living with grandparents. (My in-laws live in the gulf). However, I find that as someone who once ran her own home and then had to move back in with my parents, it was painful. Also as parents get older they are super cranky, so navigating all of that was and still is painful.
5. “ I need my freedom!”
Image credit: Giphy, Seinfeld
I was 16 years old when I first went to a hostel. Since then, I’ve been managing my own life and I’m set in my ways. So as much as I love my parents, I can’t adapt to their lifestyle anymore. Also, I need my freedom!
6. “The pressure to live according to others is not something I can take”
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I find it hard to live with anyone but myself, so this isn’t just about my parents. My lifestyle isn’t something I want questioned. I like having my freedom to do what I want, when I want. Want to eat pizza for breakfast and order two desserts for dinner? I can. Want to watch Netflix all day and not clean my room? I can. Want ten thousand beauty products? Yes, and you can’t tell me I shouldn’t have that or own this if you don’t live with me. We feel obliged to do what others want when we are living with them, but when you pay your own rent, you’re not at someone’s mercy. I don’t have to prioritise other people’s needs over mine and adjust, so it gives me the space to be myself and do things at my own pace, which is also a good learning experience. I’ll clean when I want to, eat healthy when I want to. Learning to make those choices for yourself only happens when you aren’t doing it because of external pressure. So the pressure to live according to others and match their behaviour is what I dislike about cohabitating with others. It takes my freedom to do what I want away.
Personally, living with parents is easier and cheaper too. If you’re someone who knows how to draw the line, and are lucky to have parents who understand boundaries, this equation can be one of the most rewarding settings for you. But as far as the crow flies, we have only heard of adults wanting to live a few years by themselves before returning to their aging parents to care for them, like they were cared for in their childhood.
IMAGE credits for Lead, Vertical, And Thumbnail: Still From Kapoor & Sons
IMAGE credit for Social: Twitter, Amitabh Bachchan
