Body hair and conversations about sex have both been turned into a taboo in India, especially when it comes to women. However, body hair isn’t a bad thing—even though it is presumed to be so under flawed societal expectations of beauty—and its intersection with sex can actually be a positive thing. Some real women shared their stories about having sex without giving up their body hair and told us how it affected their confidence. It’s a roller coaster ride, so buckle up.
1. Unlearning 101
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“For the longest time, I kept my whole body absolutely hairless. It’s something I was told to do all of my childhood. If I wasn’t hairless, I was told I would be ‘unclean’. However, there was this one time that I had a one-night-stand. I wasn’t ready for it, and in the beginning, I was terrified that my partner would simply up and leave after he saw all my body hair.
He did not, I had a great time, and that was when I realised that perhaps, we should periodically unlearn the things we are taught as children. I still shave and all, but I feel good about my body with hair too.”
– Anonymous, 37
2. Loving your body
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“My 20s were wild and I had a lot of fun, but the moment that truly made me revel in my body was when I met a person who enjoyed body hair. Even though it was a kink, it did wonders to the way I thought about my body. I’d never really thought negatively about body hair, but that interaction made me fall in love with my natural state!”
– Anonymous, 32
3. Patriarchy won
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“My story is not really a good one, sadly. I had an arranged marriage and my partner is really nice, but he was super weirded out when we had sex for the first time. He’s a sweet man so he didn’t really say anything, but when I asked him about it repeatedly, he said that he wasn’t too much into body hair. I am very hairy and he thought it ‘felt weird’.
He assured me that I did not have to change myself for him at all, but I ended up picking up the habit of waxing anyway. I love him and love myself, but the body hair between us was too thick and voluminous (pun intended). My partner likes it today but in the end, patriarchy won.”
– Anonymous, 47
4. They found love
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“I don’t shave because I get terrible skin irritation that looks/feels far worse than having a more natural look. I wax just about everything every once in a while, but not too often. I’ve never had any issues but I’ll never forget the night I met my now-husband.
As he slid his hand down, he exclaimed and I thought that he was going to call the night off. Instead, he got the biggest smile I’ve ever seen and told me that my hair was so soft. He then made me touch his chest hair and we spent the night comparing body products. I fell in love with him right that moment.”
– Anonymous, 29
5. Words are powerful
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“I got broken up with because my partner was ‘yucked out’ by my body hair. I’ve never cared, but this was one of the first times I’d gone out with and slept with a woman. I was exploring my sexuality and coming to terms with it and then this happened.
After she left me, I shaved immediately. It was the first or second time I shaved, and I hated every second of it afterwards. It was prickly and uncomfortable. It’s funny how simple words can leave such big scars though.”
– Anonymous, 27
Body hair is such a natural part of life, and yet, there are so many people who ask women to shave, wax, and go hairless. Body hair (and its removal) is a pretty personal choice and it shouldn’t really affect how women live their lives.
When you meet people who accept you for who you are, it boosts your confidence and gives you the power to be yourself. Isn’t it about time we accepted women’s bodies in their natural, unadulterated states too?
Social and lead image credit: Flying Unicorn Entertainment, RSVP, Tiger Baby Films and iStock
