Maintaining friendships requires a secret potion and this potion is different for different people. Everyone has different ingredients to add to the longevity of their friendship. So, to know how some of the women in iDiva manage their closest bunch of chosen family, we asked them to share their ways of maintaining healthy and meaningful friendships:
“I turned my best friend into my flatmate, what more can I say?”
“I am an outstation kid. I am not just living away from family, I am living away from home and familiarity. I was lucky enough to find grounding in such a meaningful friendship. I did not wait and moved in with my best friend. For us, the key ingredient to a successful, healthy and happy friendship has been the shared experiences of embarrassment and trauma. I wouldn’t deny that copious amounts of alcohol keep the bond strong when we run out of the former.”
-Srijoni Roy (24)
“We try to use our time together for constructive things and not just gossiping”
“I cannot deny that keeping up with friendships in adult life is truly a task, a task that you willingly take up. My closest group of friends have a group chat. We do not need to call each other every other day or blow up each other’s phones. We know where and why the person is busy. But we do update each other every third day on the group chat so that we do not lose footing in each other’s lives. We meet almost every weekend, but this time together is not just spent on food, alcohol, partying, and gossiping. We love to use this time constructively. We play sports, be it badminton or swimming, and a few of us even hit the gym together. Such shared engagements add richness to the relationship which gossiping takes away from most.”
– Shivani Chatterjee (24)
“Be an island or a vacation for that friend. Do not make it difficult to stay in the friendship”
“I have close friends but I am not someone who can stay in touch a lot. One of these close friends is my boyfriend. It is easier maintaining a friendship with him because we have gotten into a routine. We are witnesses to each other’s lives. I can tell him something without previous context because he has kept up for so long with these little nuggets. But one thing I have learnt about friendships in my life is that you need to be a listener. That is it. You do not need to be the best advice giver or a rock, you need to listen without fighting everything your friend says. You cannot challenge or argue their perspective and be like, “lol aise thodi na hota hai.” Be a vacation, a beach, an island for your friend. Don’t make it difficult for them to maintain and stay in this friendship. You choose friends unlike a flood of given family, neighbours, colleagues, and others over whom you have no control. If you’re choosing something why would you choose unhappiness?”
– Stuti Bhattacharya (26)
“Don’t be afraid of giving and receiving reality checks”
“It is hard to pinpoint how friendships last as long as they do. Some are easy some are rocky but just choosing to stay together like even in a romantic relationship, is how things last. I have not been someone who can stay in touch,what with work and family taking up most of my time. But my friendships are based on absolute truth. In a pool of yes-people, I have found someone who can call a spade a spade. I am that reality check in their life just how they are in mine.”
– Akanksha Sharad (23)
“We don’t make a huge deal out of physical absence in each other’s lives”
“We are an introverted bunch of people. That has somehow made us aware of each other’s need for company and solitude. We are all professionals and understand how time is never enough to fit in everything. But we make it a point to connect when it’s absolutely needed. There is no farce of talking every day or incessant updates; we connect when needed and we love how we’ve achieved this comfort zone after almost five years of knowing each other. Keep unnecessary societal and social media-led pressures at bay in your friendship and it’ll flourish.”
– Shreya Punj (27)
