The idea of a romantic relationship as a safe and happy space does not exist any more. We constantly hear about unhappy relationships that people continue staying in because it is hard to separate yourself from a person you have truly invested in. But some people assume their relationship to be the best version because they know nothing better.
For the uninitiated, these are the habits that should not exist in a healthy relationship:
1. Bickering
Arguing is not always unhealthy. It is a part and parcel of the whole package called a relationship. However, if you find yourself neck deep in a pattern of argument-heavy communication, it is surely an unhealthy habit. A couple might not realise when they form a habit out of it, but stopping yourself now is a mindful step which takes more courage than you can imagine. Recognise when the point of outburst is coming and stop because it takes one to mend this issue.
2. Accusatory language
Using language that iterates that your partner or you are “always” doing a certain thing or “never” doing a certain thing, should be avoided. This behaviour adds fuel to an already escalating fire. A person becomes defensive and this makes them throw up their own side of complaints. A better habit to inculcate in a conversation is to use the word “I” rather than “you”. Like if you have a problem with him with not putting up the seat while using the washroom, try saying “I wish you would put the seat up” rather than saying “You never put the toilet seat up.”
3. One-upmanship
Always wanting to be the correct person is not the best way to keep it a happy relationship. A point comes when you have tried so hard to build yourself up at the cost of your partner that you despise them for being themselves. They do not need to work according to your clock and your habits. Every conversation has the power to bring your partner closer to you or to push them away. So never let an argument be about proving them wrong.
4. Ill-placed sarcasm
Being sarcastic is a virtue appreciated when used in moderation. Sarcasm is just humorous jabs at your partner because stating facts is too obvious. But soon this habit replaces actual humour in a relationship with divisive one-liners and becomes toxic with uncalled for jabs every now and then.
5. Sharing relationship problems with your parents
Even though your parents might be your rock and you like to discuss your life with them, discussing your relationship is a big no-no. If you are not consciously trying to create a wedge between you, your partner, and your parents then avoid this habit. There are some things that should stay between your partner and you to maintain the sanctity of your relationship.
